Author Topic: Borderline personality and relationships  (Read 1459 times)

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Offline belljar

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Borderline personality and relationships
« on: February 16, 2014, 08:32:35 PM »
Just started a new relationship and have already started sabotaging it😑 just sent the boy in question a message saying that I don't want to be involved with anyone, that I'm not very good for people and that I didn't want to hurt him or get hurt myself. I like him and he likes me so why do I do these things?!?! I blame my ex for staying with me for 5. Years and then breaking up with me.
I'm not terrified of being in a relationship. I can be as insane as I want on my own and no one else can get hurt.

Anyone else have problems with this or advise to help me be less district ive ?!

Offline Sian-May

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Re: Borderline personality and relationships
« Reply #1 on: February 18, 2014, 02:48:34 PM »
I can sometimes do and say things to sabotage relationships as well without realising. I have a habit of attaching myself too quickly then regretting it not long after as well.

BPD is a tough one to live with. There are a lot of characteristics that I have because of it without even realising.

Because of this, I unfortunately don't have any helpful advice, but I wanted you to know you're not alone :hug2:

Can you talk to them and explain your insecurities and being scared of getting hurt? Sometimes, honesty is the best policy x
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Offline belljar

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Re: Borderline personality and relationships
« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2014, 02:51:09 PM »
I did talk to him but he didn't understand and just sat quietly for an hour looking straight ahead, he said things will be fine in a few days. I have talked to him a wee bit but I'm leaving him to cool a bit (despite him saying he isn't mad) I hope this doesn't break us because he is a nice guy)

Thanks for your reply x

Offline Sian-May

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Re: Borderline personality and relationships
« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2014, 02:54:26 PM »
He has no reason to be annoyed with you hunny. It's a condition and you can't help it. Could you maybe type BPD into wikipedia and ask him to read up about it?
Last SH: 05.01.2016
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Offline belljar

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Re: Borderline personality and relationships
« Reply #4 on: February 18, 2014, 02:56:50 PM »
I didn't bring up BPD in much details. I don't wanna scare him off as he has already been pretty cool and calm with my self harm. It's a new ish relationship and I do t wanna scare him off

Offline Sian-May

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Re: Borderline personality and relationships
« Reply #5 on: February 18, 2014, 02:59:49 PM »
Ahh that's fair enough. Just give him some time. I normally tell people about me pretty much from the word go nowadays to avoid any miscommunication or misunderstandings, and to make sure they can handle it all before we both get emotionally involved - but that's just me.

Take it one step at a time and tell him little bits and pieces when you feel comfortable. I'm sure he'll understand and respect you for telling him.
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Offline belljar

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Re: Borderline personality and relationships
« Reply #6 on: February 18, 2014, 03:02:21 PM »
Thank you. I guess I just have to give him a few days and hopefully we can start afresh.

Offline Sian-May

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Re: Borderline personality and relationships
« Reply #7 on: February 18, 2014, 03:33:48 PM »
Yeah that sounds like a good plan. Give him some time and hopefully everything will work themselves out :hug2:
Last SH: 05.01.2016
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Offline belljar

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Re: Borderline personality and relationships
« Reply #8 on: February 18, 2014, 03:37:31 PM »
Yeah thank you :)