Author Topic: Things are good :)  (Read 4414 times)

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Offline terrified heart

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Re: Things are good :)
« Reply #10 on: July 22, 2013, 07:34:31 PM »
Thank you Sian & Lily xx xx

I'm still doing really well thanks. Dream unsettled me this morning, but as the day went on I felt better/settled.

The dream was about being unwell but not thinking I was unwell and my care team were trying to section me. I've had a lot of these dreams recently and about being locked up by the police. I guess it's because I'm worried about things getting bad again? I've had good spells before and got unwell again, so it's always a worry. I don't tend to think about it in the day, but I must be subconsciously worrying and it's coming out in my dreams.

But yeah, things are good and I'm hoping they stay that way :)

xx
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Offline terrified heart

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Re: Things are good :)
« Reply #11 on: July 24, 2013, 09:25:54 AM »
Found it hard to get up yesterday as it was so dark outside (due to the rain storm). Gave me a glimpse of what winter might be like. I hate winter so much and I'm dreading it coming around again. Which is stupid as there is obviously no way of preventing it. Anyway I still managed to get up early (had work at 9am).

Had more distressing dreams last night. This time it wasn't about being unwell tho. I dreamt my mum had died and I wasn't coping with it at all. Woke up really tearful and panicky. I'm ok again now tho.
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Offline Sian-May

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Re: Things are good :)
« Reply #12 on: July 24, 2013, 11:04:16 AM »
Sorry you're having bad dreams, they can leave you feeling pretty upset when you wake up :hug2: Poor you.

They are only dreams though and aren't real, try not to dwell too much if you can help it hunny. You're doing so well, really proud of you!
Last SH: 05.01.2016
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Offline terrified heart

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Re: Things are good :)
« Reply #13 on: July 24, 2013, 04:17:46 PM »
Thanks Hun  :hug2: xx

I'm feeling fine now. If I could just stop having distressing dreams everything would be perfect right now. But I'm happy enough with how things are :)

Went out with my support worker today. Had a 3/4 sleeve cardi on. I have a large scar from a b,urn on the bottom of my arm and she thought I had something stuck on my arm until she realised it was a scar. Was a bit of an awkward moment. Nothing more was said about it tho.

I see my psych next week and I'm pretty certain he will stop my oral AP. I'm really excited. I know I'll be fine without it as long as I stick to having my depot. I'm also thinking of asking to be given 2 weeks of my ADs at a time (I'm on weekly scripts ATM). I want to start building up some trust again and show that I'm doing well. I haven't OD'd since last Sept.
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Offline Sian-May

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Re: Things are good :)
« Reply #14 on: July 24, 2013, 04:19:35 PM »
Sounds like you're ready to have your quantity increased. It's great that you feel like you can trust yourself with that amount of pills. I'm happy for you :) x x
Last SH: 05.01.2016
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Well done Super Sian! :superman: x x

Offline terrified heart

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Re: Things are good :)
« Reply #15 on: July 24, 2013, 04:57:06 PM »
I just really want to let people know that things can and do get better. Even with a long term MH condition you can live a happy life :)

I almost didn't survive a suicide attempt Nov 2011. I didn't think things would ever be ok again. The last 20 months have been up and down, but right now I'm feeling better than I have in a long time

I really hope that me saying this can give other people hope for the future. I'm wishing you all happy times to come

Xx
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Offline terrified heart

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Re: Things are good :)
« Reply #16 on: July 25, 2013, 09:51:41 PM »
Tiny wobble today, but not going to let it knock me down.

Nothing much, but noticed I was having unnecessary paranoid thoughts earlier. I've still got them a bit, but they are under control I hope.

I know I'm not supposed to be thinking about the past, but I found myself looking over old posts of mine from over the last 6yrs. There have been many ups and downs, and some very low points, but I have survived them all. Some of my old posts actually made me feel inspired to keep going as there have also been some great times, words of wisdom and clarity.
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Offline Terri

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Re: Things are good :)
« Reply #17 on: July 25, 2013, 09:54:43 PM »
You're doing really well, TH. :hug2:


It's good that you're keeping the paranoid thoughts under control. Recognising that they're paranoid and unnecessary it really positive. :)


I think it's OK to think about the past, so long as the good things remain the main focus. :hug2:
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Offline terrified heart

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Re: Things are good :)
« Reply #18 on: July 25, 2013, 10:11:06 PM »
Thank you Terri xx

Yes, I'm pleased I recognised them as unnecessarily paranoid early on.  I was worrying earlier that I was talking too fast and people were judging me as unwell. It was triggered by someone asking if everything was ok, and I was thinking yeah everything is fine so what am I doing to imply it might not be??? And all I could think was that maybe I was talking too fast and not making sense. Looking at it logically tho, I'm sure it was just an innocent polite question and they weren't implying there was something wrong.

Also, earlier this afternoon there were people talking outside my house (I think with my neighbour) and I suddenly felt under threat and panicked and locked all my doors and windows. Again, I realised I was over reacting and that I was safe so I managed to relax and stop myself feeling panic.

I think these kind of wobbles are natural though, and I'm not going to let them take over or bring me down. I'm going to enjoy the positives :)
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Offline Terri

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Re: Things are good :)
« Reply #19 on: July 25, 2013, 10:25:28 PM »
Funnily enough, I had the same thing earlier today. A stranger on the bus asked if I was OK, so I automatically assumed that she could tell that I've had MH stuff. Not the case though, eh? I think sometimes people are just nice. :)


I think wobbles are natural. I try not to overthink difficult thoughts, as then I get a bit bogged down by them and they seem bigger than they need to be. Not letting them taking over is a good plan. :hug2:
Chief :smurf: Pry Master.


And hope and grace were all I needed.

This isn't everything you are.