Author Topic: any advice?  (Read 2386 times)

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Offline kirsty

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Re: any advice?
« Reply #10 on: February 24, 2013, 08:01:40 PM »
That does make sense. I just feel like i have failed. I also feel like i am trying to lead two lives, the one where i want normal things (kids etc) and another one where i really just want to be able to idulge in my urges and not have to behave normal. I love my husband but i do wish i could be bu myself sometimes, purely because it was easier to cut when i was on my own.
Thank you for listening to me ranting on!

Offline caspers smudj

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Re: any advice?
« Reply #11 on: February 24, 2013, 08:11:56 PM »
its ok hun
i dont mind you ranting on
have you tried talking to hubby about how you feel?
xx
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Offline kirsty

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Re: any advice?
« Reply #12 on: February 24, 2013, 09:00:16 PM »
Not really. He knows i am not sleeping and that i have been an assy cow lately. He has depression and an eating disorder and is getting better, but it has been an uphill struggle for him to get better. He has been clingy, which means i cant get any time alone, which is driving me nuts if i am honest. Although if i did have more time by myself i would have hurt myself by now.
I love him dearly and he loves me, but it was easier to act on my urges when i was on my own.

Offline kirsty

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Re: any advice?
« Reply #13 on: February 25, 2013, 06:56:49 PM »
Been a bit of a crap day. Had to have a blood test, took forever as i have no visable veins. Had two nurses looking at both arms, both commented on my scars, not in a nasty way but just the fact that they commented means that they are still so noticable. I wear short sleeves at home,my hubby knows my arms, and i do wear3/4 sleeves more now. Just i forget that not everyone has these scars and i am not "normal". Just angry at myself as i feel so ashamed of myself.

Offline caspers smudj

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Re: any advice?
« Reply #14 on: February 25, 2013, 07:21:00 PM »
you got nothing to be ashamed of hunni
the nurses were probably concerned about you
as for blood tests - i have the same problem
someone sugested to drink loads of water before you go and it does help me
it took 5 attempts one time to get some out of me
hugs to  you
xx
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Offline kirsty

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Re: any advice?
« Reply #15 on: February 25, 2013, 07:26:27 PM »
Thanks. I am just annoyed at myself because i let myself get upset by something that i cant change.
I have to remember that not everyone is aware of my scars.
Thank you for the hug.xx

Offline caspers smudj

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Re: any advice?
« Reply #16 on: February 25, 2013, 08:16:02 PM »
your welcome
xx
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Offline Hash

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Re: any advice?
« Reply #17 on: February 25, 2013, 09:00:38 PM »

Kirsty,

You are not at all a failure just for struggling again. YOu could go to the doctors on the grounds you are a carer who is struggling as technically you care for your husband.

I really think like the others said you need to seek help before you do start self harming and things get so much worse. You could just get some medication just to stabilise you whilst you are struggling just to stabilise you.

Hash

Offline kirsty

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Re: any advice?
« Reply #18 on: February 26, 2013, 07:26:42 PM »
Thanks hash. I never thought of myself as caring for my husband but i suppose i am. I am going to go to the doctors on friday, i will have to write it down i think to get it across.
However, on the bright side i got a job today!

Offline smiler

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Re: any advice?
« Reply #19 on: February 26, 2013, 08:49:20 PM »
huge hugs

well done for getting a job that is awesome

and well done for finding to strength to go to doctors

that is a massive step

hope they given you the help you need

huge hugs
no one wants to know
no one cares
those who do want to know,
  want to know so they can use it against me
hurt, pain, anger, destruction, death and hatred, the story of my life
all i hope for is some one i can love trust and believe loves and cares for me and wants whats best for me