Author Topic: Explaining to children - how old is right? *sh/scars*  (Read 2366 times)

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Offline mirrhi

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Explaining to children - how old is right? *sh/scars*
« on: May 23, 2012, 01:35:40 PM »
I was reading to boys last night when littl'un pointed to scar on my arm and asked 'why have you got a line?' Scars on my arms are minor and mostly faint but once you notice them there's a lot. I made some excuse about cat scratches but eldest seemed sceptical. They don't look like cat scratches tbh, too straight etc. Has anyone had any experience of talking to kids about sh, how old, what to say etc? I hope I don't have to for some time yet, but worried about being caught out unexpectedly  ::-\:
Thanks
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Offline sparkledust

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Re: Explaining to children - how old is right? *sh/scars*
« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2012, 01:53:05 PM »
my nephew asked me when he was about 4 i think he had visited me in hosp and grown up with seeing me and the question came out of the blue i thought this was too early for him he wasnt very mature for his age so i just said it was hurt then he kissed my boo boo*scar*

i think it depends on the kids really and it might be best to talk to thier parents as my sister doesnt know want me to tell my nephew who is now 6 when he asks and as his mum i have to repect it

it is hard to talk to them but i think when i have to do it i will say i was poorly and i got hurt

p,s my cat does scratch in straight lines i have scars from her too that are straighter than the ones i have done xx
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Offline greenday

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Re: Explaining to children - how old is right? *sh/scars*
« Reply #2 on: May 23, 2012, 04:03:19 PM »
im to young but i just dont want my childeren to ask but they will fined out oh well but good luck and dont worry  :hug2:

Offline mirrhi

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Re: Explaining to children - how old is right? *sh/scars*
« Reply #3 on: May 24, 2012, 08:25:50 PM »
Thank you Starry and Greenday  :hug2:

I *know* I need to talk to fella about this, as he's their dad and I willl aways respect his decision where the boys are concerned, I couldn't do otherwise.  It's hard thought to raise the question, he knows about my SH but it's a topic that is avoided really.  Probably by me more than him tbh.  I just can't seem to manage to actually raise the subject in any way, although I could answer (with difficulty) if he asked.  There's no way I could expect him to ask though, as he has no idea it's come up as an issue unless I tell him which I seem incapable of doing  :frying pan:

You're right that it depends on the kids, they're both so different I feel really different about each of them knowing.  Ironically I'm far less worried about littl'un knowing then the elder.  I absolutely dread littl'un's questions/response etc cos he's v down to earth, confident, assured of his own self, and will just ask outright his questions and voice his opinions, but I'd sooooo much rather that than what I expect from eldest.  Eldest is too familiar.  I see him worrying about others, about what they think, about if he's upset them, worried them, disappointed them.  I can see his distress at not being the best, the best according to his own assessment - i.e. making others happy.  I'm so scared that if he learns about the concept of *SH* he might see that as an option.  He does not deserve that.
I guess it's funnier from where you're standing, Cause from over here I missed the joke
Clear the way for my crash landing, I've done it again, another number for your notes
I'll be your clown, behind the glass
Go 'head and laugh, cause it's funny
I would too if I saw me...

Offline greenday

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Re: Explaining to children - how old is right? *sh/scars*
« Reply #4 on: May 24, 2012, 10:12:47 PM »
ya your right and try to be nice to them and say the truth the esy way  ;D

Offline angeldevil123

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Re: Explaining to children - how old is right? *sh/scars*
« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2012, 01:54:18 PM »
wait till they are about 11 or 12 but not younger.
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Offline greenday

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Re: Explaining to children - how old is right? *sh/scars*
« Reply #6 on: June 11, 2012, 05:25:03 PM »
that is right u can do it  :thumbsup:

Offline Reeta

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Re: Explaining to children - how old is right? *sh/scars*
« Reply #7 on: June 11, 2012, 06:07:18 PM »
When I moved down south my friends granddaughter was only 2. I took the move down here as a chance to wear short sleeves (moreso at home and latterly outside) I asked my friend what was the best for her and her granddaughter and T (friend) said to wear short sleeves from the start and that way the scars as just a part of me and not anything to bother about. L (granddaughter) asked a couple times about my 'poorlys' and thats what I said they were. They were poorlys that had got better and she asked about plasters and if I had worn her hello kitty ones. She traced a few with her finger, had a look and then started talking about her show on TV.

L doesnt say a thing about them now and I honestly dont think she even notices, she will be 5 later this year and apart from the initial curiosity she has shown no interest in them, even ones she hadnt seen before- like when we went swimming, L saw some on my legs that she hadnt seen before but nothing. Dont think they registered on her radar.

I think T really had the right idea by just letting her see them and ask questions to which I answered honestly but with no details if that makes sense.

Even Ts daughter who is only a year younger than me hasnt asked me any questions about them and she has seen the same as L.