Author Topic: To stay or go?  (Read 3561 times)

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Offline mirrhi

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To stay or go?
« on: December 04, 2011, 08:03:23 PM »
I don't know if I should still be here.  I don't offer much, I avoid so much that may trigger, I want too much but give too little.

I'm stupid stupid stupid.  But I'm doing ok.  Better than I was a while back anyway.  I never felt I deserved support then so how can I possibly now?  I know people must read my posts and think 'what the f*** is she whingeing about???' 

If I'm honest I do feel that things are getting better.  Slowly, steadily, bit by bit.  'Stuff' kicks up, sometimes more, sometimes less, but slowly slowly the 'less' becomes more if that makes any sense?  Or maybe I just deal with the 'more' better than before?

I still crave that outlet, that support, the thoughts and hugs as less becomes more, but to deserve that I must give.  But to give feels risky at the moment.

I don't know.  I guess I just want the lovely people here to know I want to give, I just don't know if I can.
I guess it's funnier from where you're standing, Cause from over here I missed the joke
Clear the way for my crash landing, I've done it again, another number for your notes
I'll be your clown, behind the glass
Go 'head and laugh, cause it's funny
I would too if I saw me...

Offline catapult

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Re: To stay or go?
« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2011, 08:56:41 PM »
It sounds to me like youre doing well.

You want to give, thats a beautiful thing hunni. To give, when we, in our lives, have lost so much, shows such great strength, and character, you should be damn proud of that. You dont have to force it, maybe knowing is enough for now. An in a little time, mabe itll happen on its own  :)

Just wanted to give you some support, youre doin well hun, i know what you mean in some of the things youve said. Maybe the lows are still there, but maybe not as low as they once were.  An maybe it will get hard again, but now you have the knowledge that it is doable, that riding it out really does lead to getting past it, and feeling a little better.

 :hug2: hun x
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Offline catapult

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Re: To stay or go?
« Reply #2 on: December 04, 2011, 08:57:31 PM »
Oh, and to answer your question, definitley stay  :) Definitley x
Last cut: 10/03/14
Last OD: 20/12/13
Last purge: 01/03/14
Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees.

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Offline mirrhi

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Re: To stay or go?
« Reply #3 on: December 05, 2011, 09:11:26 PM »
 :hug1: Catapult, that means so much, thank you  :hug1:
I guess it's funnier from where you're standing, Cause from over here I missed the joke
Clear the way for my crash landing, I've done it again, another number for your notes
I'll be your clown, behind the glass
Go 'head and laugh, cause it's funny
I would too if I saw me...

Offline Lily Kym

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Re: To stay or go?
« Reply #4 on: December 05, 2011, 10:39:44 PM »
but to deserve that I must give. 
I'm sorry hun but i really disagree with that.

Everyone deserves support on here. No matter if they post on others threads or not.

I know i've not posted much on your threads but recently things have been a little hard - so i've not posted much on anyones.

I really really really hope you decide to stay - because we will miss you if you do go. xx xx xx

Offline mirrhi

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Re: To stay or go?
« Reply #5 on: December 06, 2011, 07:47:45 PM »
 :hug1:
I guess it's funnier from where you're standing, Cause from over here I missed the joke
Clear the way for my crash landing, I've done it again, another number for your notes
I'll be your clown, behind the glass
Go 'head and laugh, cause it's funny
I would too if I saw me...

Offline findingmyway

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Re: To stay or go?
« Reply #6 on: December 06, 2011, 08:31:04 PM »
Please dont feel that you have to leave. You deserve support regardless of how much you do/do not feel able to support others. We all go through times where posting on other peoples threads is really difficult.

Keep talking hun x
Thank you all so much for your support, I really appreciate it.
Please, all keep as safe as you can.

I will be thinking of you xxxxx :hug1: :hug

Offline brokenblackrose

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Re: To stay or go?
« Reply #7 on: December 14, 2011, 09:28:22 AM »
Everyone deserves help. Even if we don't believe it ourselves.
Its asking for it that is the hardest part. I'm struggling with that one myself right now.

Let us know how you are doing
xx

Offline riot-grrrl

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Re: To stay or go?
« Reply #8 on: December 22, 2011, 01:27:42 PM »
Hun, you deserve the support and friendship of the people on this forum whatever you think. You are and always have been a popular and well liked member here, you should definately stay :-)
"No, I regret nothing, all I regret is having been born, dying is such a long tiresome business I always found."

Offline mirrhi

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Re: To stay or go?
« Reply #9 on: December 30, 2011, 07:47:07 PM »
I just read those replies, nearly made me cry.  Thank you  :hug1: :hug1: :hug1:
xx
I guess it's funnier from where you're standing, Cause from over here I missed the joke
Clear the way for my crash landing, I've done it again, another number for your notes
I'll be your clown, behind the glass
Go 'head and laugh, cause it's funny
I would too if I saw me...