Author Topic: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*  (Read 4721 times)

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Offline Tree

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Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
« Reply #10 on: November 16, 2011, 11:02:17 PM »
Welcome :)

You're not alone at all. I am 22.
\'For a tree to become tall it must grow tough roots amoung the rocks.\' Nietzsche.

Offline lulu05

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Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
« Reply #11 on: November 17, 2011, 12:26:30 PM »
:welcome: I'm 32 (and only started sh regularly when I was 25). Do you have any professional support?

Umm, I have my first ever therapy appointment in an hour and a half. So Much Terror. I have no idea what to say. I thought I'd not mention the self-harm for now, because I'm really, really uncomfortable with discussing it...

Offline Tree

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Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
« Reply #12 on: November 17, 2011, 08:11:36 PM »
How was the therapy appointment lulu?? I have been having psychotherapy for the past 6 months and although it's hard and I found it very difficult at first I am now building a trusting relationship with my therapist and I think it will be useful.

How was it for you?

Tree xxx
\'For a tree to become tall it must grow tough roots amoung the rocks.\' Nietzsche.

Offline mirrhi

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Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
« Reply #13 on: November 17, 2011, 08:26:38 PM »
34 and sending hugs  :hug1:
xx
I guess it's funnier from where you're standing, Cause from over here I missed the joke
Clear the way for my crash landing, I've done it again, another number for your notes
I'll be your clown, behind the glass
Go 'head and laugh, cause it's funny
I would too if I saw me...

Offline lulu05

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Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
« Reply #14 on: November 17, 2011, 08:57:40 PM »
How was the therapy appointment lulu?? I have been having psychotherapy for the past 6 months and although it's hard and I found it very difficult at first I am now building a trusting relationship with my therapist and I think it will be useful.

How was it for you?

Tree xxx

I actually found it really uncomfortable and horrible, but maybe in a productive way. I answered all the questions as honestly as possible, which meant I had to discuss the self-harm. I think it will be useful, but there is so much shame tied up with it that I did feel guilty and ashamed and awful for ages after. Also, I think I went in expecting to be made uncomfortable for the greater good... But the therapist was more like "we don't have to discuss anything until you're ready, or even never if you want". Which in a way was good, but in a way, I feel like if I wait until I feel comfortable to talk about the issues I'm most uncomfortable with, they'll never be resolved. I can be such a coward, it's going to be really difficult to actually bring up my real issues. I can already feel myself deflecting by talking about academic stress (which is a problem, but probably not the major one)...

Sorry, this is probably a massive overshare from a stranger, but the cover of anonymity is so helpful!

Thanks everyone for the welcome, and the hugs. :)

Offline Tree

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Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
« Reply #15 on: November 17, 2011, 09:11:51 PM »
No worries, that's what this place is for. And you're right, anonymity is very helpful.

I could have written what you just wrote, I understand exactly what you're feeling. There are lots of things I haven't told my therapist and I never know if I will. I also talk about anything and everything to avoid the real problem. But very slowly and in baby steps I am becoming braver and talking more honestly to my therapist. It didn't happen overnight though and I'm still not anywhere near being honest all the time!

When are you next seeing your therapist?

Tree xxx
\'For a tree to become tall it must grow tough roots amoung the rocks.\' Nietzsche.

Offline lulu05

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Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
« Reply #16 on: November 18, 2011, 12:30:26 AM »
No worries, that's what this place is for. And you're right, anonymity is very helpful.

I could have written what you just wrote, I understand exactly what you're feeling. There are lots of things I haven't told my therapist and I never know if I will. I also talk about anything and everything to avoid the real problem. But very slowly and in baby steps I am becoming braver and talking more honestly to my therapist. It didn't happen overnight though and I'm still not anywhere near being honest all the time!

When are you next seeing your therapist?

Tree xxx

Monday 28th, unless I feel like it becomes urgent. Although it was very strange to be chatting to a man, I've realised lately I'm much more comfortable around women... I'm not sure if I should see how it goes, or actually request a female therapist...

Offline Faded~Lady

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Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
« Reply #17 on: November 18, 2011, 02:45:25 PM »
31 year old teenager myself x
Only those who dare, truly live.
- Ruth P. Freedman

Offline Tree

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Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
« Reply #18 on: November 18, 2011, 06:03:09 PM »
Maybe give it another session and see how you feel after that? I had a male counsellor once who was amazing. But equally if you'd prefer a female then they should be able to accommodate that.

How do you feel waiting until Monday 28th?

Tree xxx
\'For a tree to become tall it must grow tough roots amoung the rocks.\' Nietzsche.

Offline lulu05

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Re: Are there any other adults? Am I just a freak? *Possible trigger*
« Reply #19 on: November 18, 2011, 07:28:46 PM »
Maybe give it another session and see how you feel after that? I had a male counsellor once who was amazing. But equally if you'd prefer a female then they should be able to accommodate that.

How do you feel waiting until Monday 28th?

Tree xxx

I have just emailed asking for a woman... I'm just aware that my own hang-ups mean that I might end up putting on a particular persona in front of a man. I mean, I feel like from a young age, I've been told that I ought to do my best to impress men, and although I know that's a silly lesson to learn, and a huge issue in itself, I can't see myself letting myself go enough to discuss the things I'm most ashamed of with a man. Particularly since this one seemed to be close to my own age. It's silly because I'm not even straight, but I've always been taught that relationships with men are inherently sexualised...

I've self-harmed every night since I started up again, with the exception of tonight (so far. But I'm really trying not to.), so I don't mind waiting til Monday 28th, because I feel like no matter how close the next appointment is, I'll still self-harm before I go. Also, I kind of need to recover from the last one!

Lulu
Xx