i was given a copy of this book from my social worker and it has boxes throughout with phrases to remind yourself so thought i would put them here as they may help people if they repeat certain ones to themselves:
* If i feel like self harming it's because there is something wrong which deserves attention.
* It's okay to be confused. It's all right to not know why. I can take my time to gradually understand myself more.
*My feelings, whatever they are, are real and important.
* the things which have hurt me in my life are real and important, even if they dont show.
* my feelings are valid and justified. They deserve to be recognised.
*sometimes i may need a break from the pain; to postpone my feelings until i have someone to help me with them.
*If i let myself really have my feelings and get support for them, they will pass. The pain won't go on forever.
*i have the right to take control in my own life.
* i can take back control in small ways (and big!).
*I have the right to be angry and protest.
*Anger is natural and healthy. i'm not bad for being angry.
* I have the right to protest about being treated badly.
* i can let out my anger for my own relief and satisfaction.
*i am not bad, dirty or horrible, i have been made to feel like that by things that have happened. But it's not true.
* I dont have to keep believing horrble things about myself. I can chuck them out, and start seeing the good in me.
* Sometimes i hate myself instead of hating someone else. I can turn my anger back onto those who deserve it.
*It's okay to feel needy. Everyone does it sometimes (even if they dont admitt it). I dont deserve to be punished for it.
* It can be very painful to let yourself feel your needs. I can take it slowly and be kind to myself.
* i can have some comfort. i can take care of myself and ask others for some of what i need.
*i dont have to invent a seld - it's already there just waiting to be discoevered.
* i can take my time about discovering myself, starting with really small things.
* There are many aspects to me, and they are all valid parts of the whole me. It's okay to be me.
*it's horrible to feel panicky or unreal, but nothing terrible is going to happen.
* the feelings will pass if i take care of myself.
*It's okay to want help from someone else, too.
*i am worth caring about and doing nice things for
* i am a worthwhile person with lots to offer
* i matter and my life matters.
*It's okay to need support. everyone does.
* If i get the support i need, i will be able to support myself too. It will help me cope.
*i might have to reach out for more support, but i can do that a tiny bit at a time.
xXx
Attachment, emotion, regulation and self-harm study, ages 16-21. NEW SEPT 2024