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Survivor Room / Re: If there was a cure for autism...
« Last post by Lorien on June 12, 2020, 09:56:01 PM »
Eventually I ended up with a literal chill out room. Our spare room is given over things that are helpful when things are hard.before we had this extra space, it was a space behind my sofa. Just a space to be with no demands. I'd assume everyone would have different requirements but calm, quiet and dark is a general winner I think
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Survivor Room / Re: If there was a cure for autism...
« Last post by Gerard on June 12, 2020, 09:42:33 PM »
Wasn't aware of that, thanks. I'll look it up.

People with ASD have trouble with sleep, it's well-documented.

If you mean other general down time as rest I could probably do more. I was pretty drained when I got home from therapy yesterday. I only go every 4 weeks and didn't want to go back.
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Survivor Room / Re: If there was a cure for autism...
« Last post by Lorien on June 12, 2020, 07:52:54 PM »
I know sensory overload is a thing in the ASD world. What about information overload? Is that a thing.

Drained at the mo.

Definitely I think that NAS did a reasonable job of highlighting it but not explaining it. Someone recently said that you have to set aside the same if not more time to recover than the initial difficult period. Are you getting time to rest?
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Survivor Room / Re: If there was a cure for autism...
« Last post by Gerard on June 12, 2020, 06:15:00 PM »
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Survivor Room / Re: If there was a cure for autism...
« Last post by Gerard on June 11, 2020, 10:11:51 PM »
I know sensory overload is a thing in the ASD world. What about information overload? Is that a thing.

Drained at the mo.
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Survivor Room / Re: If there was a cure for autism...
« Last post by Gerard on June 03, 2020, 02:12:07 PM »
Spoke to my colleague yesterday, she was lovely about it. Hopefully can tell her more in person when we're back in the office.
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It is hard to be in your position, around what you're seeing and hearing. He does need professional help, to deal with his feelings.

Has he said if there's anything he'd like to change about his life?
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Hello everyone,

I am worried that my boyfriend could self-harm seriously and I don't know how I can help him. I talk to him about this as much as possible and it seems to help him for the moment but he is convinced that something is wrong with him/his head which is why he feels the way he feels and he doesn't believe that there is anything anyone could say or do to help him get over this in the longer term.


I really want to help him, I never thought that he would harm himself and thankfully he hasn't done anything but the other day he messaged me saying that him and two of his friends have been playing 'toss the tool' - a fun game according to him, then he proceeded to tell me that he nearly hurt himself badly so the game has now been forbidden. Then the next day he sent me a photo of his forearm and there was a quite visible tool trail - not deep enough to cause severe damage but it was visible enough for me to tell what it was- and he clearly wanted me to see it too which I interpret as his asking for help. I really panicked and I got him on the phone immediately (I can't travel to him at the moment due to the whole covid situation/travel bans) - it helped him for the moment but his whole attitude concerns me and I am afraid what could happen in the future. I don't want anything bad to happen to him!

He has been drinking a lot, for quite sometime now, he lives quite a wrecking life at the moment. He knows this is not what he wants and he mentions that he is not happy that he is in his 30s and living the way he is right now but at the same time he refuses to take any actions and actually plan for something else- no matter what encouraging advice I try to give him.

I am not sure how much I can say without triggering him to do something. I really wanted to tell his family but I am not sure that they would know how to deal with this and really help him. He has also asked me not to say a word to them and that I am the only person he can talk to - I have honoured his request and I haven't told anyone.
It is very difficult for me because he pushes away my help and at the same time I also suffer from not being able to really help him.


I would really appreciate hearing your thoughts on this. All advice is welcome!


Thank you,
Miya
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Survivor Room / Re: If there was a cure for autism...
« Last post by Lorien on May 26, 2020, 07:51:22 PM »
Yeah, there are times that I get annoyed that I can't 'JUST' do something. It's also a bit of a project at the moment to give myself time to recover after doing things that are difficult. It is possible, but it isn't easy and I don't like that I need to. I think it is a bit of an extension of doing the opposite of what I was doing before s/h. The whole being kind to yourself thing is difficult for most people, but I think there are several more layers when you have to work against what you have done before and in a way that isn't natural for other people. The 'too autistic' vs 'not autistic enough' to count arguments are also incredibly frustrating and make most things more difficult.
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Survivor Room / Re: If there was a cure for autism...
« Last post by icicle on May 26, 2020, 08:03:58 AM »
I have days when I feel really drained. I find that I only have the motivation to do something if it is something that I really, really want to do/ am interested in. I've always felt like an outsider looking in. Not sure that I'd want to join the neurotypicals though- I'd like to keep the ability to be logical, to not bully, criticise and reject others just because they are different from the socially created norm, nor would I want to be interested in social status. However, I would really like my life to be as easy as that of a neurotypical- I can't believe the things that they take for granted because they find them so easy. My life is frustratingly difficult. Neurotypicals don't spend their lives being judged on how well they manage to come across how people with Autism would want/ expect them to be.
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