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Survivor Room / Re: Motivation
« Last post by Turtle on Yesterday at 06:28:46 PM »
I agree that you're not alone! Everyone I know is having more bad days than good in terms of 'productivity' and is having to put in an extra effort to keep going with the little things. I've been trying to challenge myself to actually get dressed for work each day because it does make me feel more put together - but even so I don't do it till mid-morning. Being inside so much isn't really healthy and it makes us lethargic and it has been such a b***** weird and difficult year. You're not alone and now is the time to give yourself a break for letting the little things slide.

There are some things that are good to keep up because when we do them we (can) feel a bit brighter. What these are specifically might differ from person to person I think - I know for me keeping my hair and teeth clean makes me feel so much more human. What helps me to find motivation to keep things up is working out why they're important to me. It's silly but I can't motivate myself to eat well by thinking about 'health' but I know it helps my skin - so if I ever think I don't need to bother with a good dinner and will just eat lots of crisps, I remember that I want my skin to feel good rather than berating myself about being healthy.

I think it's also important to work out what is truly important too - forget the rest, the most important thing is that you are looking after yourself in the way that's best for you. Don't overload yourself with things and take small steps - e.g. back up meals that are healthy and easy, having a sink wash rather than a full shower, getting dressed but into very comfy clothes.

All that being said, I think it's really important to reduce your priorities to the absolute essentials. These are such strange times and everyone is feeling bleh. I think it's been going on long enough now that everyone is worn out. It's okay if things aren't perfectly up together. :hug2:
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Survivor Room / Re: Motivation
« Last post by jackgrillo on Yesterday at 03:36:15 PM »
I don't know what the answer is, but I wanted to say that I'm struggling with this too. I, like you, am generally quite self-motivated. At the moment I'm dragging myself out of bed for work at the last minute, and generally not very motivated to do anything.

I guess, what i mean is that you're not alone. I'm sorry, I can't provide any wise words of how to magic up some motivation, but if you find any, let me know!
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Survivor Room / Re: Motivation
« Last post by Tucan on Yesterday at 12:16:36 PM »
Motivation is tricky. It is something I really struggled with when well and poorly. It is especially bad at the moment but I am depressed. Have you tried writing things down and then cross them off as you do them? It doesn't help me but it does help others. I have a pa that comes in and helps me with tasks. Without her things simply don't get done.
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Survivor Room / Motivation
« Last post by Vermilion on Yesterday at 11:59:52 AM »
I've always been fairly self motivated, always managing to get things done for the most part and really tried hard with mental health stuff. I'd have a bad day sometimes but it wasn't a big deal because it would just be the odd crappy day that everyone gets and it would pass. Nowadays though I feel like I've lost my motivation. Even on my worst days I'd be able to kick myself in the arse but for some reason I can't do it anymore. I'm not saying that it's entirely due to the pandemic but it has a huge impact and yes, the vaccine is being rolled out, yes, there's an end in sight but I don't think that things will ever be truly ok for many years. So now I'm stuck in this mindset of well, why bother? I'm exhausted from the constant effort that I have to put in to doing the simplest tasks and for what? None of it matters.

I don't feel depressed, I don't feel much of anything a lot of the time. So I don't know why I'm struggling with motivation so much to the point where I get upset at even the thought of the simplest tasks such as getting dressed or getting in the shower. It takes me all day to get anything done if I actually manage at all. Why is this happening and how do I get out of it? I don't understand why I can't do it, I should just be able to force myself to do things but I can't. What's stopping me? I don't get it.
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Survivor Room / Re: Progress.
« Last post by Tucan on January 15, 2021, 09:50:01 PM »
I'm so happy to hear that Terri. You are doing so well, especially after you have been so poorly. I hope that things continue to go well for you. You have put in so much hard work into it.
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Survivor Room / Re: Self inflicted trauma? *Trigs- SH, Sui*
« Last post by Terri on January 15, 2021, 09:44:06 PM »
This is something I've never spoken to professionals about because I always have it in my head that it can't be trauma if I inflicted the things upon myself. I did broach the subject with my social worker this afternoon though, and she used the word 'trauma' even though I didn't call it that.

I don't really know what to say to make it better for you, but I absolutely think that these events that we have been through (regardless of who caused them) have been traumatic. If someone else had been through something that had nearly caused their death, not through their own hand, it would be almost epected that they would suffer some kind of emotional after effects. I think it's the same for us/others who have been through similar.

This stuff is tricky and I really think it's worth talking through with your DBT therapist. :hug2:
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Survivor Room / Re: Progress.
« Last post by Terri on January 15, 2021, 09:37:17 PM »
Thank you, Vermilion. :) :hug2:


I'm really pleased that I lost the weight. Not only has it made doing things easier, but it's also meant my BMI is low enough for me to be able to train to be a vaccinator for the covid vaccination programme. It has to be below a certain number because of the increased risk of severe disease if you catch covid and it's above it. I would not have been eligible this time last year, so I'm feeling really glad that I did/am doing it.


DBT is really, really hard. Well done for starting! I was in such a mess before I started the first time and found it almost impossible, but I'm so glad that I stuck with it. :) You've got this too. :hug2:

I'm already on the waiting list for the issue-specific therapy. I was put on the list after an assessment at the end of last year and the waiting list is about 12 months long. I am not sure that it's something I want to/will want to do, but they said that it was worth putting my name on the list for 1:1 stuff as the list is so long and I can still change my mind when I get to the top. Everything they're doing is online at the moment, so I'd guess that facility would be available even if things are a little bit more 'normal' by the end of 2021. They've got a helpline that I've rang a few times and the women at the end of the phone are always really lovely.


I spoke to my social worker earlier today and she said that it seems as though I've made a lot of progress. She said that I wouldn't have ever applied to go to university because my confidence was so low. She said that the way I talk about myself and how I talk about therapy is very different these days, and that she has faith that I can have a bright future where I live my life. It's weird, isn't it? I've spent so long trying to destroy myself (quite literally at times) because of thoughts I've had about myself that I'm starting to accept might not have been quite right. What utter chaos faulty thinking has caused. ::)


I'm doing alright.



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Survivor Room / Re: Progress.
« Last post by Vermilion on January 08, 2021, 04:27:55 PM »
You sound loads better than you were which is fab to hear!  :hug2:

Well done on getting to uni, you'll do great and working at the same time is incredible.

Congratulations on the weight loss too, that's incredibly difficult. I'm medically overweight too so I know that it takes such a long time to lose weight that it's hard to stay motivated if you have a lot to lose. Well done!

You're brave to go for another round of DBT, it's incredibly hard to do eh? I've just started DBT and I'm already on the verge of chickening out!

Just an idea but it could be worth contacting the issue specific counseling services, I'll bet that loads of people have concerns about it and don't forget that even the volunteers will be trained so they will know not to push things too far. Maybe consider how long the waiting list is and, if it's easier for you, ask if they do counseling over zoom or Skype. It just find it reassuring to know what my options are and to get an idea of what I can expect. Could that be helpful?
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Survivor Room / Re: Progress.
« Last post by Terri on January 08, 2021, 03:42:50 PM »
Thank you, Tucan.


Things are still up and down, you know? But there's a general upward trend when it comes to mood and coping mechanisms and things. Last year was the most dangerous year I've ever been through with regards to self-harming behaviours, so if I don't want to be dead by my own hand, I really need to try my hardest to work on my 'stuff.' There's the possibility that I may need further therapy after I have completed DBT in order to address some trauma I've been through, which could be delivered either through a local issue-specific charity or the cmht depending on what's going on towards the end of 2021. I'm already apprehensive about what it could bring up, but I'm more confident about having the skills to manage whatever that involves in a safe way than I've ever been.
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Survivor Room / Re: Progress
« Last post by Tucan on January 08, 2021, 12:12:48 PM »
Well done, that is great to hear. I am happy for you.
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