Author Topic: Struggling  (Read 3929 times)

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Offline x_Whitneyy_x

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Struggling
« on: February 26, 2014, 10:42:18 PM »
 I first started self harming when i was 7 and my dads friend started sexually abusing me. This stopped after a while until a year and a half ago when my dad's lodger started to sexually abuse me. This time it was a lot worse. I didn't know what was really happening so every time something happened I froze. When I found out what was happening I felt dirty and horrible so I started self harming, badly. Everything had been getting worse since my grandad died in 2011. This made my dads drinking worse - he has really bad problems with alcoholism. I have once put myself in hospital from self harming when I cut to deep and needed stitches - this was because my dad hits me and emotionally abuses me too. He said and did some nasty things and made me feel like I wasn't wanted or needed. I also lost my best friend to cancer a year ago this month, the pain of this is so unbearable its like it was just yesterday when we were joking around and bullying each other angel. He always helped me with my self esteem issues but now hes gone they have gotten a lot worse, i am also a very paranoid person i'll walk into a room and think everyone is looking at me or there laughing at me - something along them lines. My self harming hasnt gotten better over the years its gotten worse and because of it i have lost so many people - my mum said if im gonna hurt myself do it properly and she'll give me the tool and ive lost several friends. Recently things have been quite hard, today my friend tried killing himself and is in icu at the moment on life support so i have recently self harmed - I have never gotten help with my self harming so i feel so alone.
I didn't and have never wanted to die I just wanted to get rid of all the pain I was feeling inside.

Offline Lotus

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #1 on: February 27, 2014, 10:10:28 AM »
Whitneyy, what you are describing is very serious! You need to seek help from professions. I urge you to go and speak to your GP as they will be able to help send you in the right direction. I'm sorry to hear all of these things have happened and hope you are able to find support in RL as, by the sounds of it, things cannot continue the way they are.  :hug2:

Offline Faded~Lady

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #2 on: February 27, 2014, 07:36:21 PM »
Make a doctors appointment hun.  You need support to get you through this xx
Only those who dare, truly live.
- Ruth P. Freedman

Offline x_Whitneyy_x

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2014, 09:27:40 PM »
Doctors wont help... ive just gotten out of the hospital for overdosing and i still havent got any help theres no point...:(

Offline Faded~Lady

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2014, 10:40:02 PM »
You need to see a different doctor xx
Only those who dare, truly live.
- Ruth P. Freedman