i too have bpd. a disorder that affects you 24/7! weather it be christmas or even your birthday,which was a huge trigger for me this year.
do you have specific expectations of yourself around this time of year, or do others pressure you and give you impression you have to live upto their expectations? i only ask as i have realised this past month with help of cpn that my family, although very loving cause me more distress than anyone because i feel i have to live upto an unrealistic expecation.....the same with christmas. to most people, you can put woes behind you and forgive family arguments and switch on the 'happy' face. but when you have bpd you know you cant do that at will, or of you can it will still be very distressing.
i guess im trying to say, i think its very understandable why xmas and new year is hard especially with bpd.
my husband is helping me plan for the christmas period, like what to do in crisis, and who to tell etc. the more planned the better as your anxieties should lower if you know what your doing....amd you have a do this or this plan for unexpected situations.
sorry for ramble and i hope it makes sense to you and may help?