scars showing and being a nurse *trig

[belljar]

I have emailed her and got decent enough responses  (so she isn't mad at me like i thought she would be) but I haven't met with her in person. I think my psychotherapist would be fine with me studying so long as I was enjoying myself because my mental health has took a turn for the worse this placement because its been awful and I have hated every second of it.

the thing is sometimes i worry that I am not okay enough to do it, and what do I do then?

[jackgrillo]

I have a personal tutor but again she confronted me (about having weekly appointments) she said it was her business to know as I am going into a caring profession and she needed to know, so i had to tell her about my psychotherapy. i wasn't sure that she DID  have the right to know so again I got all defensive and said that It was up to me to choose weather I am well enough to do a course and then ran out the door basically shouting i'm okay... So I am not too keen to bring this up with her if I don't have too.

I don't mean to sound too harsh, and please don't take this as a personal attack, but as your tutor, she does have the right to know.

I know it's hard, and I know that you say you're ok (I'm in no place to judge whether you actually are), but as she said, you are going into a caring profession, so Mental Health is an important aspect, and you are not the right person to judge whether you are in the right place.

I would also point out that running out the door after being defensive claiming to be fine is not the best example of you being fine. Especially not if you then avoid her.

Like Terri says, having an open and honest conversation with your tutor would really help

[belljar]

yeah Ii realise running away probably wasn't the right thing to do in hindsight, but I have a fight and flight instinct, first I fight, then I run...

I do happen to think though that I am the right person to judge weather I am okay because otherwise people might stop me from doing the things I wanted to do. But again I realise you have to be mentally sound to do this job...

I can't afford to fail it though. I am terrified of being told that i can't do it...

[hidden tears]

hi!

The first thing I want to say is please don't worry....it will work out in the end. General/Childrens wards are
completely different to where you are at the moment, so i'm sure you'll be fine in short sleeves (which you well have to wear). I'm nearing the end of my course now and I've spent the equivalent of a whole year on placement in a Childrens hosp and not had any major problems.

I'll pm you when i'm on my computer with more details if you want, and feel free to ask any questions and I'll do my best to help.

Don't worry

[belljar]

Thank you that would be great. Have you had any nasty uncomfortable comments? What did your mentor/ co workers say about it? Did you broach it before you went or did you go in short sleeves and hope they didn't mention it?

sorry for all the questions. The latter is something which i am thinking about. If I have to leave them to the air, do I mention it first, or do I just go in and wait for them to talk to me about it...