I definitely understand what you mean.
I was always quite resolute in my whole "my illness doesn't define me" thing but looking back, the fact was it DID take up an inordinate amount of my time, and was actually behind 90% of everything I did/didn't do. And obviously, in my own head, it was always king, regardless of whatever else was happening.
Personally, it came as a relief to be able to "define" myself in other ways - career, marriage, fulfilling hobbies/interests. But it does feel very strange, even now. For me it wasn't so much having to find my identity from scratch, but finally become the "me" I always was underneath all the distortion and sickeness...but I do understand about almost "missing" it.
I think that is actually quite normal, when something has taken over your life for so many years, being without it does feel like a massive void. It's a weird example, but I often think of it like being married to someone I didn't love, who made my life a misery, but who I had been with for so long that when I finally made the decision to leave, whilst life was "better" it was completely empty. Purely because that person had emptied my life of everything else that could give me enjoyment and give my life meaning.
I suppose all I can really say is that you are definitely doing the right thing in terms of moving on with life, filling it with people and activities rather than illness. I think maybe a part of you will always miss the previous stuff, but the longer it goes on, the more you develop a "real" life, the less you will think about those times, and the more unfavourable it will seem in comparison to your current situation.
At least, that's what I tell myself and what keeps me going.
