The NSHN Forum UK
NSHN Forum Support & On Topic Forums. Some additional boards are viewable to members only => Survivor Room => Topic started by: belljar on November 28, 2012, 07:48:55 PM
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I dunno where to put this so please move if needed.
I just wondered if anyone ever feels more suicidal at new year? I have been diagnsoed with borderline personallity dissorder and always feel worse at newyear and end up v suicidal. i dont think this has anything to do with anti climax as i hate new year and dont celebrate it and get excited. i just feel awful instead. Any thoughts on this would be welcome and perhaps any advise on how to control this. One day i'll make a mistake. and actually end up dead.
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Xmas is my trigger and january xx
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New Year can be hard for a lot of people, but it doesn't mean that you can't get through it safely if you take the proper precautions to stay safe. It seems to get a bit easier as you get older (I've plenty of experience at getting older!).
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what are these precautions? I don't even know why this happens. it happens earlier every year.
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Its like seasonal blues. Have you support? Xx
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no useful advice but your not alone i start to struggle in nov every year i hate xmas, new year and jan and tend to really struggle. Then in summer months i am completely normal (well maybe ::P:)
Maybe you can plan some good distractions in advance?
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I ended up in A&E one year, it was Dec 30th, so i got out new years eve morning. Anyway, when i was in there the nurse who was treating me asked me why id done what id done. I said new year, always does this to me, she said why?! Its just another day. She sounded frustrated and i never forgot it.
Its just another day. I understand how intolerable the emotions can be. I suffer with BPD too and i know where youre coming from. i know its hard to be derailed once on the path to destruction, and that the intensity of the pain is simply too much to bear. But...
Try and treat it like any other day. Its just another day. Put a plan or support in place. Structure the few days over that period so you know where you are and what youre doing. Its one night to get through and then its all over for a another year. Youve gotten through all the new years previously, so im hoping you can get through this one too.
Hope this is of some help. Stay strong :hug2:
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I often feel worse at New Year, Christmas I can cope with but New Year upsets me a lot for some reason. One New Year I got taken into hospital on New Year's Eve because my psychiatrist didn't think I was safe to be at home. I think New Year is a time where you reflect over things a lot, where you are, what you want to be and like me if you are lonely it can just seem worse somehow. My psych said its a bad time for a lot of his patients. Think you just have to keep yourself distracted and do nice things and be good to yourself.
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i too have bpd. a disorder that affects you 24/7! weather it be christmas or even your birthday,which was a huge trigger for me this year.
do you have specific expectations of yourself around this time of year, or do others pressure you and give you impression you have to live upto their expectations? i only ask as i have realised this past month with help of cpn that my family, although very loving cause me more distress than anyone because i feel i have to live upto an unrealistic expecation.....the same with christmas. to most people, you can put woes behind you and forgive family arguments and switch on the 'happy' face. but when you have bpd you know you cant do that at will, or of you can it will still be very distressing.
i guess im trying to say, i think its very understandable why xmas and new year is hard especially with bpd.
my husband is helping me plan for the christmas period, like what to do in crisis, and who to tell etc. the more planned the better as your anxieties should lower if you know what your doing....amd you have a do this or this plan for unexpected situations.
sorry for ramble and i hope it makes sense to you and may help? :hug2:
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thank you everyone for all your advise. It's not great to realise how many people struggle but good to know i'm not alone. Ive had a particularly bad week as I have just got let go from my job, not fired exactly but my probationary period is coming to an end. Sigh. So now I have 2 cars, a house and a horse and no job. this is making things pretty bad
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I actually find that new year and christmas cheers me up a lot. But i do find that when people are out partying and i am left at home alone or stuck in with the parents do i end up feeling depressed and shitty or during the summer months when everyone ese is out partying. I am like i can't go on anymore.It's been like since I was born, no-one has ever invited me to parties (school friends etc and progressed through adulthood) i'm the one with more online friends, not many friends and no life.
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I do have trouble new year and I actually know why! It's because I think what a sh** year I've had and then start on with thinking that I can't cope with yet another year of the same old sh**. Same for you, maybe? Perhaps it's in your subconscious.
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please stay safe
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I find this time of year hard - I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, so obviously I find the winter worst. It is worth trying to go to parties or events, just to keep your spirits up. I tend to make sure I go down my local pub on New Year - Booze-up and forget what day it is!
I think when I have celebrations to go to, I ignore the depressing nature of this time of year. But I know it's hard for a lot of people - I lost a friend to suicide New Years Eve when we were in 6th Form.
I imagine it's people thinking New Year, New Start etc. And knowing that it is in fact, just another day, knowing I won't feel any different the next day makes it seem like I have another year of s**t ahead rather than most days, it feels like just another day of s**t.
Don't know if that made sense/helped? But I hope you can stay safe over New Year
:hug2: