Don't apologise
Correct me if I'm getting this wrong, but do you mean in a sort of loss of identity way? I think it's very common for an ED or SH etc to feel like it defines you as such, because more often than not it is such a massive and intense part of your life. When they start to lessen it can be really disconcerting to feel you don't know what/who you are anymore.
Someone said to me that the amount of time it took for an issue to reach its peak is roughly the same amount of time it takes to heal from it. So for me, when I feel like that, I try to just remind myself that eventually, with time, not knowing what to do or how to feel will pan out.
Hope I've understood you right. Is there anything you think may help? Are you able to pinpoint how you feel? xx