being single

[dark_chick]

I’m single. And kind of like it that way. I’m not going to lie, I like the idea of a relationship but I just know I can’t handle it. Being in a relationship sounds difficult. Not just because of all the normal things that people worry about, but having MH problems just adds another thing onto this.

Is it fair to go into a relationship with all these problems? On the surface I appear normal, but at times I act far from normal. How I am supposed to explain this to someone. Can I even explain this? And suppose they accept all the things that go on in my head. What about the SH? I can’t deal with my own problems, and asking someone else to just accept them? I still SH and it’s not been that long since my last OD. Surely it’s wrong to bring someone else into that?

But unfortunately I am now in a situation where I either have to make a decision to tell them about my problems, or run away and not give a reason. I know that I don’t really want to go into a relationship, but I doubt that I ever will. I just can’t imagine anyone else liking me if they really knew the truth.

I’m not sure what I am expecting anyone to say in response to this, I just wanted to get this out there.

[Osiris]

I've been single for over 10 years. I get intensely lonely at times and also miss the physical intimacy that being in a relationship provides. I have accepted now though, that I'm unlikely to ever be in a relationship again. There are lots of reasons. I have horrific scars I couldn't bear anybody to see. I don't believe that anybody could love me. I don't have the emotional energy to invest and maintain a relationship. I struggle to look after myself, and a partner would soon turn into a carer. And so on.

There are many people with mental health problems who have loving relationships though. All relationships have their difficulties; mental health probs are just another type. I don't want anybody to presume that just because I don't/won't have relationships, I don't think anybody else with mental health probs should, because that isn't the case. People with psyciatric issues can have a lot to offer others - I just don't believe I have.

[caspers smudj]

i dont think you are in any way alone in this
i feel pretty much the same
i guess its all part of the mh problems
if the right person comes along you may find they accept you warts and all. if they dont they may not be right for you
supposedly there is someone out there for all of us, we just have to be patient til they come along