The NSHN Forum UK
NSHN Forum Support & On Topic Forums. Some additional boards are viewable to members only => Survivor Room => Topic started by: Louise on May 23, 2011, 11:04:24 PM
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...I always thought this was a really good thread.
So I'm starting it again ::P: Whatever little victories/feel good moments/achievements you have has throughout the day...they get lost so easily in the big struggle of MH problems/life issues/relationships, but they are so important, and they deserve recognition!
So go on, why are you proud of yourslef today?
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Because as much as the tears welled up..I did not cry!
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because I did 7 out of the 10 things on my to do list at work! Go me!
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Because I have my final uni exam in 6 hours, and I am up revising as opposed to hiding under my duvet pretending it doesn't exist!
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I'm proud of myself because I have just completed an extremely demanding 2 day long course that I was absolutely dreading. It took me completely out of my comfort zone and left me feeling a shakey nervous wreck, but I went back for day 2, completed the course and got a nice new qualification.
Hated every second of it, but so glad I did it :)
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I'm proud of myself today because I've started taking steps towards doing something I've always wanted to do but am terrified of. Long journey to go but won't let that scare me for now.
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I went out and made it back
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Because I have been calm and rational, all the time, I have made people laugh a little and I have taken some vitamins :yep:
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because i took my son for a long walk to see the sheep even tho i had no energy he really enjoyed it
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i took care of myself for a change
i actually managed to call the doctor and ask for help for my asthma before it became too bad
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..Because today i,ve been s/h for two months & i,ve decorated our living room all by myself..feel good, life can be good xxxx
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Because today, I am one week from being one sh free. :)
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I've put fears and my needs aside to teach my dad how to use a mobile phone without frightening him over how ill he is and I've not cried in public and upset anybody.
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I spoke really honestly with one of my best friends about a few tricky things which were bothering me.
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I've been able to detach myself from things that aren't my stuff and not become defensive.
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I postponed my volentry stuff until I have less on.
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Because I said yes to being happy for once and I am not letting anyone get in my way!
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I got dressed up for my interview, went to it, and came out smiling. And I know I did my best, so not getting the job will not be the end of the world :)
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I sorted out my posh tv box all by myself (ok so I needed to make a phonecall for advice but I problem solved by myself) woohoo
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Because it has been three whole weeks since I last s/h even tho the thoughts have been there :hyper:
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because i have continued to take good care of my body rather vthan neglecting it like i normally would, and as a result my self esteem is going up :)
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I showered and washed my hair for the first time in 11 days :blushing:
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I flushed meds away rather than abuse them
I got on top of the rubbish situation and have taken it all out
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I answered the phone when it rang and spoke to my new tutor.
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today i felt good (not in a hysterically hyper way) for a bit i think.
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I finally completed my practice test after having had it nearly 2 months.
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I may have cried all the way there, and nearly a had a OMG I CANNOT DO THIS moment when I read through the paper
but I took my IT test, and if I pass will have completed my Level 2 course.
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I got the job a applied for :) back in December when we had a thread for our goals for the coming year, applying for a new position in my business was one of mine, so actually getting it is just an added bonus really!
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i got through my assessment with crisis team/cpn and am still at home
i phoned the people i was supposed to
i took the wallpaper off in the hallway..
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I cooked. First time this year I think!
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I actually got some of my feelings out and rather than take it back, I stuck to it.
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I went, alone, for dinner and drinks with 9 people- for the birthday of a friend I haven't seen in months. I didn't know most of them, and it was very daunting as most of them were couples and I was concerned i'd just be sat on my own being ignored. But I went, didn't drink too much, and actually enjoyed myself :)
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I sewed on 3 name tapes on to my jackets I'm taking on holiday...I don't DO sewing!
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I went out of the house and did not have a panic attack and finished a whole meal :hyper:
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its passed rather fast and i've actually felt kinda happy- wish normally isnt the case on sundays.
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For the first time in 3 days, I've managed to not b**n myself.
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I went out again, did some shopping, and ate a sandwich and a yogurt for dinner.
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I've managed to keep my cool
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1. I went to the doctors today told her how I was feeling and didn't end up hysterical!
2. I went to the anxiety class yesterday and I am going to do the homework they have set me :)
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I didn't have a panic attack on the way to/from or during my assessment ;D
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I just handed in my completed NVQ file! ;D
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i've stripped the wall of all lining paper... next:
sand everything down ::)
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I made a phone call I've been putting off for weeks, and I've paid outstanding things which should put an end to incoming phone calls.
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I saw my friend and had food and kept a happy face. I also stopped myself eatting crisps when I got home :)
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Oh yeah! And I passed my first year of university :3
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I have so far this week stuck to a budget i made out. I get a buzz out of shopping but can still get that buzz by only buying cheap sensible things. Hopefully I will have money saved this week for a change. ::)
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it's finally clicked that good grades don't mean happiness.
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because yesterday... Even when faced with being told to leave I didn't harm.
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So far its looking like a bad day but I still have high hopes
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I went into town and while I was there I bumped into a few people who are a bit of a trigger for me they were their usual smug selves trying to get a reaction but I stay calm smiled politely and walked on by ( I usually turn into a mess :( ) with my head held high :)
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Today I haven't argued with my family
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Im proud of myself today because i am still alive!
Because even though i feel down and a tad helpless, i will not self harm :)
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I walked back from the supermarket rather than taking the bus. Usually I am so wiped out by the weekend I am too lazy to move!
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I went into town and despite feeling anxious stayed for two hours.
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I got dressed, went to the park and sat in the sun reading my book for a few hours - as opposed to the usual Sunday routine of hiding inside in my pyjamas, guzzling coffee and hating myself.
Feels so good to have daylight!
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I havent lost my mind yet :)
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I have sorted all my bills out, all my personal paperwork is up to date ....yay :penguinswirl:
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After over 7 weeks in hospital I have my first overnight leave :yahooo:
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Because day 8 smoke free was stressfull... But I still didn't light up!
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i havent freaked out
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After tomorow I've worked 45hrs (straight from working 20hrs a week) for the past 4 weeks...and am (mostly) in one piece.
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I'm proud because I completed the race for life. I walked it with mum and my nan...next year I'm going to run.
I only raised about £15 but that doesn't matter! Its £15 more than they had before. :hyper:
http://i800.photobucket.com/albums/yy288/mazda_mai1/IMG_5351.jpg
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..Because despite going through the motions of an OD i still was strong enothe to put the tablets away after without taking one single one..
..And despite the Urges, still not s/h (13wks free)...
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I'm proud because I picked something I want, even though I'm scared of issues that might follow, I'm will to take them on
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I really felt like i wanted to self harm last night,but i didnt give into it.
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I went to uni and actually enjoyed it even though I've been dreading going back
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As I've finally had my first good day in a long time have actually had a nice day n feeling slightly positive
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I made plans to eat more/better from tomorrow, let's see how we go
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I managed to force my way into the cupboard n bash the fuse box with a long broom till it came back on again...all with half a hand n no strength ::-\:
Oh but I did win £22.50 on the lottery...ONLY good thing all week!
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I asked for help
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I've done what I like today and was happy without worries :)
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I managed to get dressed and leave the flat for a bit (even if it did take me til 2.30 to summon the energy/courage ::) )
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Got up and dressed and went to the gym. Am trying really hard to fight destructive thoughts. Keeping safe.
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i applied for a few more jobs, went to the shop and had a shower
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I haven't cried yet
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i didn't cut after seeing her take my blood
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Update- I never cried or cut yesterday :D yessssss
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I started taking the full dose of my medication again. I am working on keeping myself well
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I started work on my OU course, and completed the written activities.
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(Technically yesterday but hey!)
I arranged my first counselling session, talked it through with a friend and put a system in place whereby I can't skive it!
I AM going to get my life sorted.
I also realised that there is something wrong with my head in general, which is a big step for me.
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im alive
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Yesterday: I was honest with my tutor and learning support guy about the difficulties Im having. I re-connected with a friend who needs a shoulder to cry on and she is coming round later after Ive re-arranged things to make time for her.
Today: I got up at a reasonable time. Fed the cat. Put her out. Put washing on. Sent some important emails and am about to crack on with a big assignment. And its only 11:11! Phew! x
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I went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea in shorts and didn't throw a huge strop about people seeing my scars
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I haven't sh'd yet today
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i'm calm
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i actually did ok out on the water
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I drove my mum shopping in my new car and didn't get flustered- still learning!
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We survived a family holiday without (much) arguing, hissy fits, tantrums n most of all...killing each other. Only holiday to grandmas to go!
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I emailed a lgbt youth group, and they replied, and I agreed to go along one session.
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I am very proud because I have made the decision to finally take a day off. After a few days of a very unpleasant virus I am still running a temperature, losing my voice, and generally feeling like I've been hit by a truck. I.NEVER call in sick, but today I am deciding to put myself first. They'll just have to manage without me!
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I've saved my grandparents a few pennies short of £250 on house insurance.....and earnt myself a meerkat
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I worked really hard at geting my room just nice, alot of hard work.
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i stayed in work all day and didn't walk off like i wanted to
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i lasted almost 12 hrs without crying
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Ive been breastfeeding my little one for nine months now :)
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i've agreed to do drama rehearsals on my birthday :party: lol
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I didn't completely lose my rag with ASDA and tell them in *full glorious detail* as to what I think of them trebling the size n price of their ready meals.
Ps anyone who agrees with me that the whole point of ready meals is that they're ideal for individuals n at an good size n price the phone number is 01132435435
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i'm making lasagne!!
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I made it into uni and stayed
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I spoke to my boss about my MH
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I drove my new car to work for the first time in rush hour traffic.
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when i was really upset, i told my flat that i was feeling bad when asked, rather than just saying i was okay and kept my cool with the person who was upsetting me.
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Joined a running club
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Actually managed to do my washing. ::)
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I was able to accept I need more help and gave my gp the go ahead to refer me to the CMHT to assess me
and I haven't SH in 2 days
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when i was worried about people saying 'things' to me, i kept calm and simply avoided them so not to annoy them further, which led to a better situation in the end. (that makes more sense in my head)
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On thursday I spoke, on stage, under the spotlight in front of about 400 people. :oo: - they included, my work colleagues, my current counsellor, my old cpn...and young people from across the county!
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I got up early, made myself a healthy breakfast and went to 'bootcamp'. Met new people, did good exercise and felt awesome afterwards.
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I out of bed in the morning (has been afternoon for several days) and went and helped my landlady with her son's birthday party.
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I really want to s/h but I'm sitting on my bed reading a book instead.
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i went swimming today without sleeves with a couple of friends (even if it was dark at the time) and didn't freak out at my friend when she touched my arm (not through looking at scars) - and it was OKAY
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Even though I read something that hurt, I'm accepting it as harmless. As it most likely is.
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I rang my sw despite really not wanting to, because my gp and my landlady wanted me to.
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I went to the day hospital and stayed all day..
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i actually introduced myself properly to a mum at my daughters playschool, she told me her name and i actually remembered it! ::P:
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actually did everything i had planned today
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I went to A & E, didn't leave when it was extremely busy and was willing to stay and talk if they had asked me to whilst being glad the liason nurse said it wasn't necessary.
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i did a four and half hour drive to pass my cat to my dad
i didn't fall asleep and crash and i didn't sh at work to make myself be unable to drive.
i actually drove all that way
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I've started to calm down about the assignments and I have not done myself any harm :)
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i got stressed, upset, panicky and anxious, recognised i was going to deal with it badly and managed to take positive steps instead
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I'm proud of myself today because (as silly as this sounds) I just went through the town where the mh hospital is where I saw my cpn, and for the first time I didn't feel like I was going to throw up from nerves/anxiety :blushing: - I haven't been there sinces september, go through the town every week to get to college!
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Went to the exercise group today (Fun and a Bun)....it may be sitting down exercise for disabled folk but it isn't easy. Muffin afterwards was nice though :;):
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I walked the dog, and didn't push myself past my limits, even though it took a long time i made it
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i opened up just a bit
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I'm proud of myself today for making it through the meeting
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I didn't sh despite only getting 1.5 hours sleep and my gp appointment being cancelled
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i had my injection
i stayed all day at the day hospital
i might have gotten myself a job
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I managed to go to the other mh centre to see C
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i'm letting go, even though it really hurts.
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I got help yesterday and today has been much calmer
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I stayed for the whole of the art workshop and finished my piece of work ;D
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^ yey! :hug2:
I had my hair cut ;D
And I agreed to meet the youth worker that runs a LGBT youth club next saterday! ;D
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I have done housework and everything is organized for like the first time EVER ............. it feels weird :sofa:
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i socialised....
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i have kept much calmer today even when plans fell through and now feel properly relaxed for the first time in a while - i'm okay for now.
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I was ready and out of my flat by 9 30am today and went shopping despite feeling like hell
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Did the remembrance march and is still free of codeine
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I got loads of my assignment work done.. Just need to fish both assignments off tomorrow and I can have some real time to myself and catch up on needed sleep
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I finally went to the doctors for my scan results
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I listened to my CPN's advice, did as she suggested and haven't cut.
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Because I've had some nice food and got myself some new jumpers :)
Gave myself abit of a boost
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after dreading STEPPS today because of the subject , I went in and stayed the whole two hours without having a meltdown infact was quite chatty with the other group members for a change ;D
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I completley lost it, and im okay with that.
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i phoned mind about their coping with life courses
i booked a physio appointment for next wednesday
i'm about to go and make some cards
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Because I'm slowly becoming better at dealing with things n I didn't let the bad weekend ruin the progress
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tonight everything feels like a huge, fat, horrible mess - but instead of letting this break me, i am remembering that it's never too late to start again.
i am learning what people tried to teach me years ago about self respect (at least, i kind of understand it now) - that is a massive massive step.
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I'VE washed my hair by MYSELF for the first time in at least 7 weeks!!! Discovered massive rubber gloves that just about go over my cast although it makes the inside of my cast dead sweaty.
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I've arranged to go out this evening for the first time in three months and I haven't cancelled.
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i went out and saw my friend and had a good night
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Survived yesterday with 4 kids at an over crowded theme park without freaking out
Went to the cinema by myself (1st time ever) even though it was the kids club. I didn't freak out at the family behind too much when they did nothing but talk loudly, squeal, kick my chair etc.
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I went to the party and didn't panic
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I fixed my car radio..
did a bit of grouting
did some xmas shopping
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Despite having a very very bad session with my CC yesterday , I was up and about today went in to town brought a whole bunch of ingredients and did some cooking , I now have what seems like gallons of potato & leek soup in the freezer and some pies yay me woohoo
I must say cooking is very therapeutic and not at all stressful as I thought it might be
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i have eaten good and healthy foods and have pretty much avoided binging despite a long and busy day and being very tired - which is a huge step at the moment.
i have done work that i'm proud of and i have made progress in work i'm doing
i'm not feeling great but i'm reacting calmly and trying to be level headed and reasonable about it - rather than panic and become ridiculous and unbearable ::)
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I haven't shd this week
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i have managed to eat healthy foods today and have resisted the urge to eat rubbish despite feeling exhausted and unhappy
i have kept going despite everything.
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I got rid of the naughty things that I shouldn't of bought and have a bit more hope in myself :)
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I'm finding things really difficult at the moment but still haven't self harmed in 14 months.
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I started my assignment instead of lazing in bed all day.
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I'm being nice to myself today. :)
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I was truly happy today :)
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I cleaned my room and went to a volunteers meeting that i wanted to go to
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despite being really tired i did loads of work and got somewhere with it
i was friendly with people - trying to move on
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I got up at 5am
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I asked for help instead of taking an impulsive OD
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I didn't hide in bed at the earliest opportunity.
I passed my first Level 2 TMA, even if it was a crappy mark.
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I got an interview for the promotion in work
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i went out even though i really didn't feel like it and i wrapped most of my xmas presents..
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I kept an appt I wanted to skip.
I stayed out of bed all day.
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Im doing well :)
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After around 6 months of browsing I finally plucked up the courage to post on here :yahooo:
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despite exhaustion, i've started to get out of my slump. i think people noticed the difference
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I didn't have my usual meltdown over a cancelled appointment.
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I got most of my assignment done despite having a really bad day
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I didn't panic about being home alone last night
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I went to the family get together and actually enjoyed it..
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I completed my learning review and I applied for a job.
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i made healthier choices
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I went to work had a really good appraisal and hopefully now a good bonus
Done all my Xmas shopping... Just need to get cards and wrapping paper!
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I'm still up and dressed instead of crawling into bed the second I got home. :)
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i went tesco shopping and didn't buy any alcohol and i sorted my tax out and went to the bank x
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i filed about ayears worth of paperwork and wrote all my xmas cards. can i go to bed now?
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i feel like i'm getting somewhere and that isn't scaring me
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i'm working really hard at staying distracted
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I completed my STEPPS course today , 20 long weeks done , There were times it got tough and I wanted to quit but I stayed the course and I am proud of myself :) and over the last 20 weeks I have made some new friends as well
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I have been to all the training I signed up for this week despite my anxiety about being in a group.
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we have got through the term :)
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I braved town and finished my shopping, picking up a few things I would never have thought of if I'd just hidden in the house and done it all online like usual!
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I faced one of my biggest demons head on today, and ive made some peace with it.
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i spent the WHOLE weekend with my nephews and loved it! loved seeing my sister as well ..
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I didn't hide in the toilets after 40 people burst into spontaneous applause at/for me and instead socialised like I was expected to. ::) :hide:
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I went to see a family member that makes me so anxious
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i went to the gym!
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I got my clarinet out for the first time in err years