Hey. Thank you for being so kind and encouraging.
![hug2 :hug2:](https://www.nshn.co.uk/forum/Smileys//robsmilies2017/hug2.gif)
I'm doing alright, you know? It's my 34th birthday and I've had a lovely 3 days of celebrations. So many people telling me they're proud of me and what a lovely person I am. It feels weird, the praise. It's not that I don't usually get praise from other people - I'm lucky enough that I do - but it doesn't sit right. I'm really, really trying to accept the positivity coming in my direction. It's certainly taking practice.
I start university in just over two months. I'm excited and nervous, which I think is pretty 'normal' when it comes to new adventures. I'm trying to go in with the attitude of 'I'm going to give it a go and if it doesn't work out, that's ok - it'll have taken courage to have even tried.' I think that if I can keep reminding myself of that, it'll take the pressure off and I'll be far less stressed about the whole thing. I'm going to try really hard to accept that what will be will be.
I've got 9 weeks of DBT left. 8 weeks after tomorrow's session. I'm a little anxious about finishing. It'll feel sad to leave the group and I'll miss my 1:1 therapist. We've been working together a long time (she was my CC before she was my therapist and before that she knew me from the local psych ward.) I'm not too terrible at endings, as I know they are part of life and have to happen. They're still painful though, you know? I know that I'll cope ok and that finishing this piece of work is a positive thing. I've only nearly gone and done it. Two rounds of DBT!
I think, post-DBT, I'm due to try doing some self compassion work with my SCM practitioner. I'm a bit apprehensive about it, and also a little sceptical, but I'll give it a shot. We're also going to work on reducing medication with the view to coming off it completely. It's going to be done slowly, under the guidance of my consultant psychiatrist. It's the venlafaxine I'm most concerned about coming off of. I've been on a reasonably high dose for about 13 years and it's notoriously awful to stop. A day at a time with that one, for sure! It'll be nice to be med free. It'll be the first time in about 20 years (I was put on fluoxetine when I was 15.)
At some point, I will need to think about whether or not to do the trauma work I've been offered. I am leaning towards doing it with the MH team initially, if I can crack the self-compassion stuff. I think if I launch into trauma work without working on the way I view myself, I could really struggle. Something to talk about with my SCM person when I next see her.
I'm hopeful.
![Smiley :)](https://www.nshn.co.uk/forum/Smileys//robsmilies2017/smiley.gif)