So, I've been kicking around some thoughts tonight about how I need to change. A lot. I know this won't happen in one big leap, but it's important that it happens. The biggest obstacle to this is what is in my head. My counsellor is only too aware of this.
I am not going to go to commit or promise big changes as that is a bit foolish, but I must change for the sake of my own health. When things stay the same for a long time they get stale and rotten. It's not fun and is only a way of keeping anxiety going and going and going. Change itself will, of course, produce more anxiety, but I have to start believing that will be better than doing nothing, sitting around hoping things will change which doesn't work.
There are practical things I need to do and have done, but the main changes will have to be around thought patterns. Part of this will be about socialising more. I am, at my core, not one for much human contact.
Occasional frying pan may be required.