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Survivor Room / Re: DBT is tough *SH, sui*
« Last post by so sad on August 02, 2021, 01:48:48 PM »

DBT is really hard. I did the 12 month course of it and there were times, many times, when I thought I'd have to drop out, it just felt too hard.

I was lucky in that I got to go to group. I had never imagined that I would feel OK in a group setting, it was my worse nightmare but as time went on, I found it easier and really helpful. There is a push to talk, I get that and it takes a while for the dynamics of the group to settle in but once that happens you'll all know who the chatty ones are and who the quieter ones are.

They like you to ask questions about the skills you are learning. Give a bit of feedback on the homework you've done. They don't expect you to bare all, just some to show that you are committed to it.

I had a lot of major wobbles, almost got kicked off once and almost dropped out a couple more times. When I got to the end I was gutted. I was leaving a great group and an even better therapist and I really never thought I would feel that way. I was also upset that I didn't feel I was where I wanted to be, where I thought I would be at the end but its been a couple of years since I finished and I've realised that you never finish learning - you will always have to work at the skills but then you find yourself using them without having really thought too much about it.

Give yourself time. Talk to your therapist about your difficulties in the group and how you are feeling. They may be able to give you some tips on how to manage the group setting and help you identify bits of skills to help with the emotions. They know its  a huge undertaking and they know how hard it is to get your head around new things when your head is already messed up.

Take deep breaths (cliche I know but trust me, it helps) and be kind to yourself (Again, I know how hard that can be).

I'm here if you want to talk or ask me anything about DBT.

Survivor Room / Re: DBT is tough *SH, sui*
« Last post by Tucan on August 01, 2021, 01:34:45 PM »
I hope they help you.
Survivor Room / Re: DBT is tough *SH, sui*
« Last post by Vermilion on August 01, 2021, 10:26:09 AM »
Maybe I should tell someone how I'm feeling about it all? I'm worried that they'll make me stop the treatment if they know that it's making me feel so bad.  ::-\: I'm not sure if I can do this for a whole year but I also feel like this is my only hope. I've got a lot of mixed feelings about it and I'm really struggling with them.
Survivor Room / DBT is tough *SH, sui*
« Last post by Vermilion on July 30, 2021, 05:39:05 PM »
I'm just starting the full course of DBT and it's so difficult. It's online via video chat and I hate being on the camera so that's making it even tougher. I hate doing the group, not because anyone is horrible but I find it so difficult to speak and follow what others are saying. There's so much insistence on speaking in the group, if I try and be silent the facilitator keeps asking me questions but I'd prefer to observe and listen and ask questions in the one to one. When we were doing the pre assessment stuff it brought up difficult things and things that I'm ashamed of, then I have to do the group which is really tough.

I'm scared that I'm going to fail it, that things are going to get worse, that it doesn't work. I'm exhausted and stressed sometimes to the point where I cry. I feel a really strong urge to b**n and b**n until I feel anything other than what I'm feeling now, of course I don't even fully understand what I'm feeling so it makes it difficult to explain. There are times, which are getting more and more frequent, where I feel like I just want to end things now, I just want it over y'know? Thing is no amount of DBT is going to change how horrible this world is and it feels like I could be wasting my time if I don't want to live in this world anyway.
In A&E, when targets of four hour wait maximums were introduced, after 3.5 hours people would then be admitted to a side-room type ward to wait, therefore effectively meeting the target on paper.
I can tell you now that mental health services do not have enough staff to see people within one hour or four weeks etc and that the definitions of being "seen" will be stretched to it's absolute limit in order to meet these targets. It will simple create a two tier A&E system with a different room with different coloured chairs and some HCA who have had a one day training course on mental health filling out care plans. Though TBF that is at least better than not being seen

Also hi again (active here in very early 2000s)
No plans for Wales I see..  ::)

For these proposals to work they need to actually fund mental health services adequately which I doubt that Tories are inclined to do. Plus, they need to fund extra training for a better understanding of mental illness amongst health staff in general, particularly GPs who are usually the first place people go when they start having mental health issues. Perhaps all GP surgeries, need a counselling service because that's often all people need when going through a difficult time thus ensuring greater availability of CMHT services for those with the more severe/complex/long term problems. Implementation of targets like this aren't going to solve the issues of severe underfunding, poor organisation and inadequate training of staff.

Just saying.  :angel:
Survivor Room / Emergency MH pts to get faster help proposed - Guardian newspaper
« Last post by Rob on July 22, 2021, 01:59:11 PM »
Emergency mental health patients to get help within hour under NHS England plan  ----   Guardian Newspaper
Denis Campbell Health policy editor 22/07/2021

People arriving at A&E suffering a mental health crisis will receive urgent help within an hour under a new plan to bring in treatment targets for those with psychological and psychiatric problems.

NHS England wants to introduce five new waiting time standards specifying how long those in need should have to wait for care, in a drive to reduce what are often long delays.

These new waiting times standards are another key milestone in the journey to putting mental health on an equal footing with physical health, so-called ‘parity of esteem’,” said Sir Simon Stevens, NHS England’s chief executive.

Those set to benefit from a one-hour response include those suffering an exacerbation of schizophrenia, psychosis, extreme anxiety or depression, or having suicidal thoughts, which has led to a breakdown in their mental state.

Under the plans, which are subject to the outcome of a public consultation, the five new targets will mean that:

• People who end up in A&E in a mental health crisis will receive face-to-face care within an hour.

• Anyone referred urgently to community-based mental health services because their psychological health has worsened will help within 24 hours.

• ”Very urgent” referrals should get specialist help within four hours.

• Under-18s and their relatives or carers who seek help from community services should have their first appointment within four weeks.

• Adults referred to the same services will undergo their first “therapeutic intervention” or “a social intervention” or agree a care plan within the same four weeks.

The planned creation of the five targets is intended to give people in England who need mental health care maximum waiting times that closely resemble those which patients accessing physical health help have been covered by for many years, such as a four-hour wait in A&E.

However, experts raised questions over whether existing NHS services can deliver the new waiting times given staff shortages and the explosion in demand for mental health care due to Covid-19.

Mental health charities welcomed the move. “With increasing numbers of people reaching crisis point, it is critical that they get the right mental health support quickly, which these standards would help to achieve”, said Paul Farmer, the chief executive of Mind.

Mark Winstanley, the chief executive of Rethink Mental Illness, said the standards would “act as building blocks on which we can build a potentially first-class model of mental health care”. But he added that delivering them “will depend on the right staff being in post”.

Stevens has made improving access to mental health care a key priority during his more than seven-year tenure as NHS boss, which ends this week, for example through improved help for mothers suffering problems linked to giving birth and also those with an eating disorder.

In the UK, Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123 or email [email protected]
You can contact the mental health charity Mind by calling 0300 123 3393 or visiting
The Samaritans offer support and advice to people feeling suicidal or vulnerable 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Their website is, email address [email protected] or call free on 116 123

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Survivor Room / Re: Progress.
« Last post by so sad on June 29, 2021, 11:51:51 AM »
Hi Terri

Happy Birthday  :bdayhappy_balloons:

Your post sounds incredibly positive. A lot going on, things you probably didn't dream were options not that long ago.

Uni - very brave, very exciting and a huge step in the direction you want to go. How many hours a week is it? You've got the right attitude as well, if it works, it works, if it doesn't, then you tried and you will still have gained from trying. What course is it again?

DBT - 2 rounds of DBT is a huge achievement and apparently not very common. Can you stay in some sort of contact with the group? Just after I left, someone set up a messenger group which we all dip in and out of every now and again but I know they are there if I need them. I really struggled with losing my 1-2-1 therapist. I get very attached and I knew that would be all part of the journey and the battle. I need to make a huge effort to practice the skills - I didn't do too well when I first finished but that was because I didn't make the effort to use the skills. I learnt the hard way!

Self compassion work will be very challenging but you've obviously identified the need for it and have sought it out rather it being forced on you. I did a self-compassion group after DBT but because it was a group it was a bit too generic for me but I do try to use the principles as much as possible. Good luck.

I came off a high dose of venflaxine a few years ago - I took it incredibly slowly and did it over a long period of time - I didn't find it as bad as I had feared.

Good luck with everything Terri - you have made so much progress, battled all the way and I know you find it hard to hear, but I am SUPER proud of you  :yahoo:.

M x
Survivor Room / Re: Progress.
« Last post by Terri on June 29, 2021, 12:54:34 AM »
Hey. Thank you for being so kind and encouraging. :hug2:

I'm doing alright, you know? It's my 34th birthday and I've had a lovely 3 days of celebrations. So many people telling me they're proud of me and what a lovely person I am. It feels weird, the praise. It's not that I don't usually get praise from other people - I'm lucky enough that I do - but it doesn't sit right. I'm really,  really trying to accept the positivity coming in my direction. It's certainly taking practice.

I start university in just over two months. I'm excited and nervous, which I think is pretty 'normal' when it comes to new adventures. I'm trying to go in with the attitude of 'I'm going to give it a go and if it doesn't work out, that's ok - it'll have taken courage to have even tried.' I think that if I can keep reminding myself of that, it'll take the pressure off and I'll be far less stressed about the whole thing. I'm going to try really hard to accept that what will be will be.

I've got 9 weeks of DBT left. 8 weeks after tomorrow's session. I'm a little anxious about finishing. It'll feel sad to leave the group and I'll miss my 1:1 therapist. We've been working together a long time (she was my CC before she was my therapist and before that she knew me from the local psych ward.) I'm not too terrible at endings, as I know they are part of life and have to happen. They're still painful though, you know? I know that I'll cope ok and that finishing this piece of work is a positive thing. I've only nearly gone and done it. Two rounds of DBT!

I think, post-DBT, I'm due to try doing some self compassion work with my SCM practitioner. I'm a bit apprehensive about it, and also a little sceptical, but I'll give it a shot. We're also going to work on reducing medication with the view to coming off it completely. It's going to be done slowly, under the guidance of my consultant psychiatrist. It's the venlafaxine I'm most concerned about coming off of. I've been on a reasonably high dose for about 13 years and it's notoriously awful to stop. A day at a time with that one, for sure! It'll be nice to be med free. It'll be the first time in about 20 years (I was put on fluoxetine when I was 15.)

At some point, I will need to think about whether or not to do the trauma work I've been offered. I am leaning towards doing it with the MH team initially, if I can crack the self-compassion stuff. I think if I launch into trauma work without working on the way I view myself, I could really struggle. Something to talk about with my SCM person when I next see her.

I'm hopeful. :)
Survivor Room / Re: CAT therapy
« Last post by janeb on June 23, 2021, 02:44:46 PM »
I know this was posted a while ago but I thought I would respond to see if it could help anyone who might look at this. I had never heard of it until now. I believe that it is similar to CBT except that with CAT there is more looking at past events and experiences where as with CBT there is a greater emphasis on the here and now. On the counselling directory website there is an article about Cognitive Analytic Therapy (CAT) and other therapeutic approaches as well. I hope you have found the therapy to be useful for you!
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