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NSHN Forum Support & On Topic Forums. Some additional boards are viewable to members only => Survivor Room => Topic started by: mirrhi on December 04, 2011, 08:03:23 PM

Title: To stay or go?
Post by: mirrhi on December 04, 2011, 08:03:23 PM

I don't know if I should still be here.  I don't offer much, I avoid so much that may trigger, I want too much but give too little.

I'm stupid stupid stupid.  But I'm doing ok.  Better than I was a while back anyway.  I never felt I deserved support then so how can I possibly now?  I know people must read my posts and think 'what the f*** is she whingeing about???' 

If I'm honest I do feel that things are getting better.  Slowly, steadily, bit by bit.  'Stuff' kicks up, sometimes more, sometimes less, but slowly slowly the 'less' becomes more if that makes any sense?  Or maybe I just deal with the 'more' better than before?

I still crave that outlet, that support, the thoughts and hugs as less becomes more, but to deserve that I must give.  But to give feels risky at the moment.

I don't know.  I guess I just want the lovely people here to know I want to give, I just don't know if I can.

Title: Re: To stay or go?
Post by: catapult on December 04, 2011, 08:56:41 PM

It sounds to me like youre doing well.

You want to give, thats a beautiful thing hunni. To give, when we, in our lives, have lost so much, shows such great strength, and character, you should be damn proud of that. You dont have to force it, maybe knowing is enough for now. An in a little time, mabe itll happen on its own  :)

Just wanted to give you some support, youre doin well hun, i know what you mean in some of the things youve said. Maybe the lows are still there, but maybe not as low as they once were.  An maybe it will get hard again, but now you have the knowledge that it is doable, that riding it out really does lead to getting past it, and feeling a little better.

 :hug2: hun x

Title: Re: To stay or go?
Post by: catapult on December 04, 2011, 08:57:31 PM

Oh, and to answer your question, definitley stay  :) Definitley x

Title: Re: To stay or go?
Post by: mirrhi on December 05, 2011, 09:11:26 PM

 :hug1: Catapult, that means so much, thank you  :hug1:

Title: Re: To stay or go?
Post by: Lily Kym on December 05, 2011, 10:39:44 PM

Quote from: mirrhi on December 04, 2011, 08:03:23 PM

but to deserve that I must give. 

I'm sorry hun but i really disagree with that.

Everyone deserves support on here. No matter if they post on others threads or not.

I know i've not posted much on your threads but recently things have been a little hard - so i've not posted much on anyones.

I really really really hope you decide to stay - because we will miss you if you do go. xx xx xx

Title: Re: To stay or go?
Post by: mirrhi on December 06, 2011, 07:47:45 PM

 :hug1:

Title: Re: To stay or go?
Post by: findingmyway on December 06, 2011, 08:31:04 PM

Please dont feel that you have to leave. You deserve support regardless of how much you do/do not feel able to support others. We all go through times where posting on other peoples threads is really difficult.

Keep talking hun x

Title: Re: To stay or go?
Post by: brokenblackrose on December 14, 2011, 09:28:22 AM

Everyone deserves help. Even if we don't believe it ourselves.
Its asking for it that is the hardest part. I'm struggling with that one myself right now.

Let us know how you are doing
xx

Title: Re: To stay or go?
Post by: riot-grrrl on December 22, 2011, 01:27:42 PM

Hun, you deserve the support and friendship of the people on this forum whatever you think. You are and always have been a popular and well liked member here, you should definately stay :-)

Title: Re: To stay or go?
Post by: mirrhi on December 30, 2011, 07:47:07 PM

I just read those replies, nearly made me cry.  Thank you  :hug1: :hug1: :hug1:
xx

Title: Re: To stay or go?
Post by: Skye on December 30, 2011, 10:08:48 PM

 :-*  :hug1: