Author Topic: Looking for consultation on self-harm and Social Identity  (Read 5611 times)

0 Members and 4 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline selfharm_and_identity

  • Researcher
  • First posts
  • *
  • Posts: 6
Re: Looking for consultation on self-harm and Social Identity
« Reply #10 on: June 11, 2024, 04:53:28 PM »
Hi, I'm just kind of echoing so I'm sorry if this is pointless. I used to be called 'a self harmer' and I got so used to it that I felt like it was my identity but I didn't like it because I feel I am more. I did alot to get away from this 'identity' such as keeping my cuts and scars covered at all times because if I don't people tend to talk to my arms and really trying my best to keep control of myself when in public. Then once in hospital a nurse asked me how long I'd been 'self mutilating' for! I was really angry at this nurse and this 'term' but I realised that I'm probably not going to get away from this, because of my history, because of my scars, because of my hospital notes, so now I am more honest with people but I don't call myself a self harmer, I don't ever like to meet people for the first time with my scars showing due to problems I mentioned earlier, I like to meet people so I can talk to them first about other things, things that I like, things I don't like it, things I'm good at and good exciting things I've done in the past, none of which includes my self harm because that's not me, that's just a part of me because of my illnesses and experiences.

I like it here because it's supportive and I don't consider anyone here a 'self harmer'. I consider them people who like me have been through bad things and for whatever reason has found self harm a coping strategy. I know how difficult and isolating life can be especially for people who self harm and I have experience of that and I like to try and help people to get through it if I can.

Everyone here is so much more and has so much more to give. I don't know anyone here in real life but I consider them friends.

Hi Axia,

Sorry for the late reply - I haven't had a chance to check this forum for a while. Thanks so much for sharing this - it wasn't pointless at all. In fact, I actually found it really thought-provoking and powerful to read. It sounds like in the past the fact that you self-harmed was indeed part of your identity, but one that you felt conflicted about and which you wanted to hide. Over time you have hidden this less, but it has also become a less "central" part of your identity and you prefer to focus and connect with others regarding other things, such as your hobbies and interests.

It sounds like you do consider the people here supportive and similar to yourself in some ways. But you wouldn't give them the label of "self-harmer" because, like yourself, they are much more to them than that. Rather, you'd consider them friends who have had some similar experiences. I found that a really moving note to end on! Thanks again for sharing :)