Uncertainty with my future MH care.

[icicle]

The only thing that I found helpful was e-mail counselling, I'm guessing because the counsellor was good at her job and because it was anonymous- I never even knew her name, so I was free to write stuff that I cannot say. For me, face to face = sitting in a room in silence for an hour. I've never tried DBT, it's not available where I live. I agree with what Terri has said- voice your concerns to your CC before she leaves.

[Vermilion]

I do need to voice my concerns about things, I was caught off guard when she told me so I didn't manage to talk about it properly.

To clarify regarding DBT there is a DBT group that I could attend but they don't do one on one sessions, my CC is the only one who can do DBT on a one to one basis. My autism makes groups really overwhelming. Another issue with DBT is my ability to cope with it and 'stay safe' at the same time; CC is unsure if I'm quite ready yet but of course that leaves me with uncertainty regarding future treatment. I feel like my brain is going to explode! 🤯

Anonymous counseling is a great idea but I find that I really need to build a rapport with the counselor as best I can, plus I'm trying to work on my social skills at the same time. I'm hoping that by talking to one person face to face I can build up to talking to a small group in the future. It's b***** difficult but I want to get better at it. I do often write things down and sometimes give it to CC to read if I can't start the conversation myself.

Thank you everyone. 

[Vermilion]

I'm really hoping that nothing gets f****d up because I really need help. There's too much to deal with and I don't know how.
Stopping the harming is so difficult, I've failed miserably in that respect and b**nt quite badly. I've really tried but it still keeps happening. Maybe they'll discharge me because I'm crap and untreatable? I hope not.

[Vermilion]

Frodo suddenly died 

[terrified heart]

Oh no. I’m so sorry to hear that. I know how much your buns mean to you. Sending love and hugs xx

[Rob]

  

[Tucan]

I am sorry to hear that. Take care.

[Vermilion]

It was so sudden, he was his usual self this morning and when I went back later he was gone. He wasn't even 2 years.   I've planted some heather over him.

I want to cancel CC tomorrow, I really CBA. I don't really care about any of it. So much sh** going on and then I lose one of the buns. It's unbearable right now.

[Vermilion]

I'm really tired but I can't switch off. I really can't deal with this, I'm struggling to process things.

If I tell anyone that I've b**nt myself they'll make me go to urgent care, f*** that. I'm too tired. My head hurts, everything aches and I'm tired but I still can't sleep.

I miss little Frodo, it's hard to believe that he's gone now.

[Tucan]

That is a shock. Bless you. Look after yourself and look after that b**n!