Uncertainty with my future MH care.

[Vermilion]

My current CC is leaving, so I feel quite anxious about it. I guess that I'm a bit worried about getting a really crap one that might mess things up and it's hard to open up, when I do open up they leave.

I could handle that by itself but there is also the issue of deciding what to do next. DBT modules don't seem to be the best treatment at the moment because I'm getting really overwhelmed and it's a struggle to keep myself 'safe' and now that CC is leaving I'd have to attend the group which is impossible for me (she's the only CC/CPN with training who can do 1 to 1) So what's next?
A referral to psychology was briefly mentioned but I don't even know what that's supposed to achieve nor what it involves. Plus, how can I open up to a stranger if they ask about the past?

I feel like I'm at a bit of a loss and I'm just struggling to process it y'know? I have something else that's bothering me to (I'll post that in a more private room) and it's just adding to the stress and worry. It's hard to describe how I'm feeling, maybe overwhelmed? :/

[Tucan]

It is hard when these people change and your treatment plan has to also. Just when you were getting somewhere with this person.

[Vermilion]

I feel like I'm at an impasse, it seems that my brain is do messed up that none of the standard treatment seems to be working. Knowing that my condition is life long I can't help wondering if I'll ever get out of this sh** heap that my life currently is.
I struggle so much to open up with others and it's a shame when they leave. And not knowing what's next is worrying me. I'd say that it's the uncertainty that's worrying me the most.

[Tucan]

I totally get that. Change and uncertainty is very hard to deal with. Even more so with autism. Just keep talking about how you are feeling.

[Vermilion]

It is but change is always going to happen and I just wish that I had better skills to cope with it. It also feels like that there's very little help for adults on the spectrum. Here I go again.

[Tucan]

Skills take time to learn.

[Vermilion]

I just feel like I'm stuck and things will never change, I feel like my life is finished now.

DBT was supposed to be more effective than it has been and I feel that's it.

I don't know what to think about any of it. 

[Tucan]

Things take time to work.

[Vermilion]

They do. I just want my life back but nothing seems to help enough. I don't see much hope since even psychs don't seem to know what to do. I'm 'engaging' with services, I'm really really trying but life is still crap. I know that it takes time but I feel like I should've gotten better than this by now, not completely better but I should have made more progress than I have. I just don't get how things can still be so crap despite trying so hard.
I can't help getting upset and frustrated at times. I can't talk to others because they just make me feel worse, plus my social skills aren't the best. I'm not sure what I could do next, I'm seeing CC next week for what is probably the last time. I'm wondering if Im simply not fixable, I'm not giving up but I'm starting to wonder.

[Tucan]

Can you mention all of these fears to her? I do feel for you.