Aspergers / High functioning autism assessment

[Gerard]

No, but I'll never have the career I aspired to, or others that were plan B, C. Never mind the more personal stuff - friendships, relationships, isolation, quality of life. The thought patterns are relentless, as my psychologist knows.

[Vermilion]

I have to admit that the dx has helped me a lot. I've finally gotten the support that I've needed since I was little. I used to frequently get misunderstood by MH workers due to lack of eye contact, taking things too literally, etc but now that I've actually got a dx things are much better in that regard.
I don't think there are many jobs that a dx of ASD would stop you, I know that we can't join the army but I can't think of anything else.
As for having the 'disorder', that does indeed suck. I seem to be incapable of holding down a job, unable to drive, can't maintain relationships and so on. I'm still working on these issues but I am hoping that one day I will lead a relatively 'normal' life. Have you ever seen someone from Occy health regarding employment?

[icicle]

Isn't that down to Autism as opposed to the diagnosis?

[Vermilion]

I'm not actually sure which one Gerard was talking about. I tried to address both sides. I suppose for me being autistic is crap but having a dx has helped a lot.
I could have completely misunderstood what he said though! 

[Gerard]

Yes, it's the AS that's intrusive. I've known since a young age that I was different. The diagnosis was confirmation, though it took some time to accept and it found me rather than being something I actively sought out. I've a cousin who was diagnosed much younger, resources were more available when he was growing up.

I'm fortunate enough to have a job (p/t). Trying to find another as my boss is not good. With another recession coming it's going to be hard for everyone.

Forgot to mention camouflaging/masking. It's exhausting.

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/s13229-019-0308-y

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S221503661930224X

http://docs.autismresearchcentre.com/papers/2018_Hull_Development_and_validation_of_camouflaging_autistic_traits_questionnaire.pdf

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2020-02-tool-hidden-autism-adults.html

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1362361319878559

[Vermilion]

Oh, I know what you mean with the masking, a social interaction leaves me drained for days. Well done for managing to work as well, I'm hoping to be able to do that one day too.

I wasn't dx'd until 30 (32 now). Apparently girls are especially good as masking, so much so that ASD was considered to be almost exclusively a boy thing. Many people on the 'high functioning' end of the spectrum seem to only get a dx after a referral to MH services rather than those who are severe who tend to get dx'd at school. I do wish that I was dx'd earlier, it's rally difficult to break long term behaviour and thought patterns and learning social skills earlier would have prevented a lot of crap from happening. I share my experiences with researches to help other kids, hopefully they'll at least get the help they need earlier on.

In my local area there organisations that work with people who have MH/ASD to help them find work. It might be helpful to explore suitable jobs. I did a 'sensory profile' with an OT a while back, it helped to get an idea of suitable work environments i.e quieter, structured, less social etc. While I'm too 'unstable' at the moment I know that I'll be able to get back in to work in the future. I realise it's difficult with the lock down but once it's all over you could probably do something.

[Lorien]

I've always done better when I've been working - I think it is that there is a level of external routine and because of the jobs I've had, a level of not wanting to impact on the care of other people. It is very difficult to get the right balance, I'm still not there with that, but at times when I've been off, the longer it was the more I spiralled.

But I have always worked with autistic people even before I had any idea that I am autistic. That tends to make the environment at work much easier. Ive also found that I am more able to do things with/for other people than I am for myself.

[Vermilion]

A lot of it depends on the work environment I think, I've been very unfortunate in that regard. Noisy, chaotic hours etc. I hope to do some more work with Occy health in the future to figure out the best thing to do. I think that there are huge benefits to working with the routine and structure etc but there's also the knowledge that I'd be doing something useful and contributing as best I can. However, I can never seem to get the right balance of pushing myself slightly and trying to do too much, I really hope that professionals will have some insight. I do worry about the length of time it could take but it's pointless to force myself to go back to working too soon and undo the hard work I've done with professionals. It's hard but I've learned that sometimes it's better to listen to the professionals who know what they're talking about.
I suppose that when others are autistic there is a lot more understanding, there will be others there that understand things like sensory issues and 'stimming' type behaviour. I noticed that when I attended a post dx group although it was still a struggle.

. Ive also found that I am more able to do things with/for other people than I am for myself.

I was actually trying to get over this exact problem with my old CC. For me I feel like my 'issues' are non existent or don't matter, likely because I was perceived as being naughty/disobedient etc as a child and when I got older I was seen as stubborn/making excuses etc. This was because of a late dx and no-one was aware that I was genuinely struggling, not even I was aware. I guess it's hard to break out of these ideas that have been drummed into us for our entire life so far.

That turned into quite a ramble! 

[Lorien]

That wasn't what I meant. I meant I can literally do more at work than I can at home. I used find it impossible to go into shops, but slowly through work I built up strategies to help me to be able to do it. I could talk to people I knew but not people I didn't so I talked to the person I was working with instead - like "we need to wait for the receipt" rather than telling the cashier we'd like one etc. It took about 5 years before I got to the point I could just walk into a 'local/metro' sized shop. These days I can do a supermarket when it's not busy - with tinted lenses, a full list, music on, self service and payment by card. But I can do it. I don't think I would have learnt the same things in other ways. A CBT guy once advocated for pretty much full on exposure - but also pointless things. "Go stand in the supermarket for 10 mins, then you can leave" his theory was I'd see it wasn't scary - the effect was to prove it was too much.

[Vermilion]

Ah, I see what you mean now, the very time time I should take something literally..! I think I can understand that itwould be easier than talking to people directly but I worry that would come off as rude to some people? My brain tends to over think things like this though, often to the point where I get it completely wrong! Thinking about it, my lack of eye contact and mumbling probably comes off as a bit rude too. The important thing is that it helped you. It seems that you were lucky enough to find a workplace where you were able to do that, work really does help people in so many ways. I often learn by imitation, watching how others react to situations.
Anywho, I guess that work is a huge boost for self confidence as well as general life skills and being out of work could have a negative effect on them. Again, it's about that balance that you seem to have gotten the hang of better than I have.

On a side note- when I'm at the supermarket I find the 'scan as you go' really helpful; I can check prices of things without asking staff, I can already see what the bill will be before I go to pay (my maths skills are appalling) and I can put everything into the bags as I'm going atound which means that I don't get in a flap at the checkouts. Then I just scan the barcode, pay via card & go home. Zero human interaction providing other customers leave me alone.

I seem to babbling again, apologies if I have.