A problem in group therapy

[faithful]

Okay, so every Tuesday I have group therapy as part of DBT.

Basically, at the last session one woman (L) stormed out angry and so a facilitator went out to talk to her and brought her back in. Then in the break she was nasty to another group member (S) and L had a go at S saying that me and S are up our selves and she is happy that S has finished the group now etc etc. Basically she was quite nasty to her and for no reason without being provoked. I'm now angry at L for what she said about me and S and for her being mean to S. The group is meant to be a calm and safe place where we come for therapy. There isn't supposed to be any nastiness but now there is.

What should I do?

[Rob]

You continue as normal 

It's difficult to know what's going on in someone's mind, how they are interpreting things, whether they are interpreting things rightly or wrongly, but one things that's for sure, is that in such groups there are people likely to be having difficulties and that you have to take things with a large pinch of salt - a bit like in the outside world. I'm sure that if she continues to cause unpleasantness, her effect on the rest of the group will result in her getting kicked out.

[Innocent Forever]

Carry on and see what happens.
You can speak to a facilitator about it. As you said, it's meant to be a safe place for you, and they're there to help see to that.
Good luck

[faithful]

Thank you both!

I think I am going to speak to one of the facilitators about it next time I see them.

I was thinking of having a facilitated discussion with her involving a staff member to find out what her issue with me is and explain that in future she can calmly talk about it rather than getting angry and saying unkind things.

I'm just really hurt that she has called me up myself, as I have low self esteem and being told I'm up myself really astonishes me. I know I should brush it off but it's hard for me to not take things to heart.

Carrying on as normal would probably be best you're right, I'm just scared she is going to have more angry outbursts and I'm going to get verbally abused by her like S did.

Thank you both for you replies!

[Innocent Forever]

Good luck with the facilitated discussion!

[faithful]

Thank you! I just hope one of the staff members will allow it and be part of the discussion.