Not sure why I am here really...

[riot-grrrl]

I've found myself back here after quite some time.

I remember when I used to post here for hours every day and my forum friends knew more about me and supported me more than my real life friends and family. This place meant so much to me, I never thought i'd survive without it.

The years have passed and i've got better in many ways, in many ways i still struggle, but my struggles have taken on a different tone.

I guess i'm lonely, and scared about the future. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to who would understand.

I'm hoping there are people out there who remember me, and there are friends I can still make here.

RG xx

[Rob]

there are still people here who remember you - even though we're becoming ancient... 

[Shinigami]

Weird... I read your post because I recognised your name...

Same Here!!!

Although, I couldn't remember my username lol. But Aye, I do certainly remember your user.

Glad to here you're coping better.

Isn't it funny how things can change so much sometimes, but some securities will always stay the same =D

xXx

[Sian-May]

I remember you.

You know that we'll understand so post away if you need someone to talk to.

[riot-grrrl]

Thank you guys for the replies, and for remembering me! 

Sometimes it really does help having somewhere to go where I can write about whats happening with me and talk to people who understand, and who don't know me in real life! I obviously can't post on facebook about how I am feeling, and I can't talk to my IRL friends, even my best friends, not about everything. Plus, there is only so many times you can turn to your friend and say "I feel bad" before they will get bored, and say "RG, we have been here over and over again for the last 14 years, change the record!"

Does anyone else feel that it is strange getting older? leaving behind the teenage / early 20's where "angst" and being 'troubled' is less exceptional, and becoming an adult, when you are not supposed to still feel so insecure and incompetant! I feel like i'm weird now for having the issues I do, because i'm not a teenager anymore, I was supposed to shake all this off.

I worry about the future so much.

Everyday is so hard to drag my ass out of bed and go to work, it feels like a never ending cycle.

I'm sorry if this is random and all over the place and not making much sense, i'm tired!

[Axia]

Hi. I remember you. I completely understand how weird it is getting older, I feel the same as you, that I should have shaken away the self harm by now, it felt somehow more normal when I was a teenager and even in my 20s but now I almost feel wrong for self harming. I feel like I'm the wrong age to be doing it, even though it's never really stopped. It's a difficult feeling I know. Please know that you are not alone. Coming back here has helped me remember that. 
Xxx

[so sad]

Hi,

I remember you and like you, I'm back.

Has anything happened to trigger this? I know what you mean about not talking to friends, even best friends. Mine just don't get it and think after all this time that I'm all well etc when i'm not.

Please keep talking on here and hope things improve for you

xx

[seren]

Glad to see you. I remember you, and some of the other old names from my previous sojourn here. It's comforting in a way that some things haven't changed. I've been well for 6 years, but have been struggling for about a month, so thought I'd come back for a pep talk and some understanding. Very happy to reciprocate and offer pep talks and understanding to you and anyone else who needs it. 


 (Is this just me, but I'm a bit grumpy I've lost my post count from before - I was in the 7,000's!)

[Rob]

(Is this just me, but I'm a bit grumpy I've lost my post count from before - I was in the 7,000's!)

That's because you aren't using your old account! 

Can you remember your username?

[seren]

It was seren then too, but when I tried to log in it said there was no one with that username. I assumed inactive members might get pruned like randoms - it is about 6 years since I used it. Don't worry, I'm not that grumpy.