I feel too old to be doing this...am I alone?

[Butterfly20]

I have been a self-harmer for about 18 months, which was triggered by an abusive relationship. Even now when I have been free of that relationship for a while, I still self-harm in situations where I feel helpless or have a lack of control.

The thing is, I'm in my late twenties, and sometimes I feel so embarrassed. Everything I hear and come across in the media about self-harm is always, always related to teenagers, and just makes me feel, am I being childish by not being able to control this addiction? And this means that finding support is really hard too as it's always tailored towards teenagers/young adults.

Does anyone else have this issue? I'd love to hear whether people have similar experiences.

[Terri]

I think you'll find quite a few people here who are past their teenage years. I'm 28 next month.


Finding support can be hard. What avenues have you tried?

[hayley]

I was a lot older when I started doing it regularly. Before that it was one-off incidents.

I felt the same as you do but it really isn't just for kids

Its about not being able to express yourself

Not able to argue

Not able to have your voice heard

Not able to say what you're really feeling/thinking cos you don't want to upset anyone

So as you can see its not just youngsters who feel that way

[Vermilion]

You're certainly not alone in this, I'm 27 and SH regularly. SH can affect people of any age, when I was in hospital recently (unrelated) there was a woman next to me who was in her 50s who had SH'd. You're not being 'childish'. 

[inmythirties]

I relate to the lack of any help or information aimed at adults. It is as though we reach the age of 25 then self harm becomes rare. However, I think the reality is that many do self harm or return to self harm in difficulty well past teens/early 20s. I am in my late 30s and still self harm. It can feel very lonely, and wrong somehow, that self harm can be a high profile subject of concern among young people but beyond that we don't exist or matter. You are in great distress and deserve to be taken seriously, do ask for help, there is nothing to be ashamed of. I think in the past that anorexia for instance was considered to be prevalent among girls and young women, but now there is growing recognition it can affect women and men in their forties and beyond.
I struggle with both eating disorders and self harm, they seem to be connected - I am never without either of them.

[Butterfly20]

I think you'll find quite a few people here who are past their teenage years. I'm 28 next month.


Finding support can be hard. What avenues have you tried?

I have tried general counselling and am considering giving it another try. I had a lot of support from women's aid for the abuse and joined a support group, but that was the other extreme and I found it was more for women with children. I've been looking now for support more specifically for self harming but a lot of the helplines and websites are more for people under the age of 18.

Thank you for your replies. It's helpful for me to see that there are others out there like me. 

[Rosie26]

 

You're certainly not alone, I'm 26 and self harm regularly xx

[carrotcake]

I'm 25 this year and often all the help/info I find is directed at teens... you're not alone xx

[Lorien]

25....a lot of people here are not teenagers. It's a really unhelpful stereotype but you're definitely not alone

[Twilight]

I'm 35 :-/ for me it started in my mid twenties postnatally.