So it has been over a year since I last SH'd but in the past couple of months I was thinking about it a lot and then the other day I SH'd again. I really thought I was on the up and over it, but now it feels like it is something I will never conquer. Like it is something I will battle with everyday from now on. I have never been to a doctor or anyone professional. A handful of friends know but I am pretty sure they all thought it was a phase and not something I still do.
The strange thing is a few months ago I had an awful job I hated and dreaded going in to work and never SH'd. Now I have an incredible job I worked hard to get and yet still feel like something isn't right. I had a thought when I was walking home from work and realised it is almost as though when I am in a great situation but then something, however small, goes slightly off track I can't cope with it. For example, work is in a very busy and stressful time at the moment. Whereas when I am not enjoying what I am doing I can get through it better. Does anyone else ever feel like that? I wonder if this is why I am rubbish at relationships...if this are going too well I run away thinking it is all going to go wrong at some point anyway.
Anyway I just felt like I needed to share that.