Things are good :)

[terrified heart]

Saw psych this morning. He said he has never seen me so well in the 2yrs he's known me. He asked if this was my normal level of mood/functioning when I wasn't unwell, but I've been unwell since I was 14 so it's very hard to tell. He said he is pleased with how I am, and if I can maintain this then that would be great. But he also said he is concerned I may go 'high' so I've got to keep an eye out for things like sleeping less, talking too fast, or having racing thoughts. Hopefully none of that will happen though.

Asked for the clopixal to be stopped (I've gone from 6 tablets a day to 2 already), but he wouldn't stop it. Said I can cut down to 1 tablet for 3-4 weeks, then if all ok I can stop it. He also said in a month or so he is going to slightly reduce my AD. I'm currently on above the recommended maximum dose, and he wants to cut down to the recommended max dose. I've been on this dose since my Sui attempt in Nov 2011, and I'm a bit nervous about cutting down.

[Rob]

Sensible to pace things carefully rather than rush into changes - your psych is ensuring that you can maintain how you are now, and I'd agree that it's better to make gradual adjustments and see what effect that makes rather than anything more drastic. Slow changes can always be easily readjusted if necessary with the least disruption. Obviously your psych is mindful that you're on a high dose of your ADs and is going to try and make that slight adjustment if possible - if it can be dropped even slightly without adversely affecting you, it can make a difference to your long term well being.

I think that it's all sounded good news!

[terrified heart]

Thanks Rob. Yes, it's all really positive

Have been reducing the clopixal over the last 6 months, so a few more weeks doesn't matter.

After the appointment Psych called my support worker over for a chat while I was in the waiting room, and I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I did catch "watch out for a crash", but I don't know if that was about me.

I told him about the paranoia I had a few days ago, and how I'd managed to rationalise it and it had gone away. He said its huge progress and was really pleased.

This is the most well I've been since about 2005

[Bea]

This is the most well I've been since about 2005

that is so good to hear  xx

[terrified heart]

Thank you Bea xx

[terrified heart]

Had depot 2 days ago now. Not sure how long it takes to have an effect (in theory it should never stop having an effect), but I'm still feeling very tired in the day. Slept 9hrs last night, but woke up feeling really tired still. Had to be in work for 10am so couldn't stay in bed, but felt really tearful at the thought of getting up.

Maybe the energy I had last month was a bit of a fluke. I had hoped it would continue as it was making me feel really good. Don't get me wrong, I still feel good, it's just that I'm also feeling very tired. And feeling tired takes a bit of the good feeling away.

Was planning on the gym this eve, but it was so manic in work today I feel like I've already done a workout!! Been carrying heavy equipment up and down stairs all day, and refitting the shop. I might still go to gym, but going to see how I feel in an hour or so.