Does anyone ever feel like this? *mentions sh*

[Poison_viper]

So, I haven't cut for nearly a year and 10 months now.

I seem to have pretty much done it by boxing up a load of memories and feelings, and adopting a 'life goes on, got important stuff still to do' view. But now things are going a bit pear shaped, I'm not struggling too much not to sh, but things are clearly wrong. Because sitting at home all day not doing as little as possible and drinking in the day (not everyday I will add, but enough to be weird) isn't a normal part of my life, really.

I feel like I am cold, I used to be the cuddliest person ever, but I often turn down a cuddle from mr viper these days so I can go read or do my own thing. I feel like I could have cried so much recently, I nearly did, once. But I mostly just feel blank, maybe a bit sad, but mostly blank.

Can't tell if this is me.....

[split]

I went through a period like this. Think I am going through similar again right now tbh. So you're definately not alone.

Its like switching onto auto pilot... Ignoring everything that isn't needed to survive.

The one thing that got me out of it last time... A hug... A big tight hug that the person wouldn't let me out of and I simply crumbled.

So maybe let your Mr hug you so you can get that emotion again... If you want it that is. X

[Poison_viper]

Thanks for replying 

Although I haven't been really cuddly, I have still had plenty of cuddles, little ones, and big tight ones.

I'm not sure how I do feel about letting myself crumble, and having more emotions again, how im feeling right now, and how i would feel then, both have their pro's and cons.... and I feel stronger like this, I guess I just worry when it eventually all falls down I will come down harder the longer I have been at it.....

[split]

Sometimes you need that auto pilot to get you through the tougher times.

Here to listen x