going to the dr advice

[Turtle]

the past few months have really forced me to face up to the fact that i am not completely recovered from mh stuff. i thought i was but then i had a month around about may/june when i couldn't get out of bed really because i was too depressed, and i keep feeling persistently low, getting thoughts about hurting myself, finding small things in life very difficult etc. i don't think things ever were completely better. i last went to the dr about mh stuff 4 years ago i guess but then i was very resistant and didn't really understand what was happening. now i know a bit better what's wrong and i really do what to be completely well, and i think actually some advice from my dr would be useful... BUT i have a few hang ups about GPs
first is that i HATE visiting the dr - i hate admitting that i'm not well, or that i can't do it by myself/i'm not strong enough. and it's hard to motivate myself to do things, especially because of the mh stuff so i'm worried that i'll keep intending to do this and then not. i'm not always good at being kind to myself either - so how do you get yourself to visit a GP?
second is that i'm back from uni at the moment, so the GP i'm registered at now is in my uni town, not here - am i still allowed to visit my old GP (who i've seen before and already knows i've struggled with feeling low, self harm, etc etc)? or would it be better to wait until september? my uni GP is very kind - when he saw my medical records he called me in so we could chat and said anytime i was struggling i could make an appt!
third is i'm not very good at expressing myself clearly (as you may be able to tell from this ramble!) when i've talked to mh profs before i've got myself mixed up and talked about things that really weren't bothering me rather than actual problems. nowadays i have a better idea of what's wrong etc etc so i should be able to be clearer than i was as a confused and unhappy teenager but i think that i would probably still go in, freak out and emphasise the wrong things, make out that everything was more minor than it is and miss out a lot of things due to embarrassment. anyone got any tips for this?!
finally i don't really know what i would want to come from this - i know i want advice on how to handle things, and how to keep getting better but i don't really want to be under nhs mh services again. i had a very bad experience with cbt - one time i'm pretty sure the guy fell asleep whilst i was talking?? - and whilst i know there are some excellent counsellors and groups etc i'm not sure that would be right at the moment. is it okay to go and simply say what's wrong but then refuse to be referred anywhere?! (which i know i probably wouldn't be anyway because i'm no longer as much as a mess as i was but the idea of a dr suggesting this and me refusing makes me feel silly) i guess i just want some helpful advice/encouragement/someone cheering me on/whatever but would a gp think i was just wasting their time with my minor mh stuff and just wanting some advice? i don't want to make them cross with me.


sorry for rambling on, thanks if you have read this. i think it's probably good for me to just get this down in writing :holdingflower: xx

[Lily Kym]

september is a long way off - and if you're recognising early signs now, perhaps waiting that long is going to be very unproductive.

if your uni doc is nice? why not go talk him , if you're able to talk?

i totally understand how you talk about other things instead of whats actually wrong - i have dome that so many times! x

[Turtle]

thank you lily kym
i feel like i could wait september because the symptoms i'm experiencing are ongoing/never really went away. whilst it would be uncomfortable sitting with it until then i guess it feels like what's another few months, you know? i can muddle through for a bit longer.
i could probably book an appt with him, but that would mean definitely waiting until sept. which as i said i don't mind doing. i need to start being more honest with some of my closer friends (when i was refusing to see anyone/get out of bed they realised something was up and i ket insisting i was tired ) so i could probably talk to one of them about coming with me and making sure i go if i wait till i'm at uni?
this all seems a bit scary/like i'm not actually going to do anything and keep muddling on not being okay and not being devastated for the rest of time
gosh i must have bored so many counsellor with my whinging on about completely irrelevant things that didn't even worry me - glad i'm not the only one who does that!
xxx

[Tallulah]

you can attend your old GP as a temporary resident but unless you feel you need immediate help i'd reccommend waiting and seeing your GP where you live most of the time, particularly as that'd allow for more consistency in terms of follow up.

i find it hard to attend the GP, particularly for MH, but i try and remind my self that MH stuff is just as "worthy" as a physical ailment and that actually without MH stuff, a lot of GP's would lose their job...it is such a massive part of their job and who they treat (shame some of them aren't better at it )

writing things down might be helpful? either as a prompt for yourself or to hand to the GP to read?

you wouldn't be wasting their time, it is their job. xx

[Lily Kym]

i must have bored so many counsellor with my whinging on about completely irrelevant things that didn't even worry me - glad i'm not the only one who does that!

we dont bore them - just make their jobs more interesting  :whistler:

xx xx

[Turtle]

thanks tallulah

i find it hard to attend the GP, particularly for MH, but i try and remind my self that MH stuff is just as "worthy" as a physical ailment and that actually without MH stuff, a lot of GP's would lose their job...it is such a massive part of their job and who they treat (shame some of them aren't better at it )

you wouldn't be wasting their time, it is their job. xx

i think i really need to remember these - it's so easy to forget, especially when the stuff affects your self esteem so makes it feel very unworthy!
i guess i'll just have to wait to see my uni dr - this is probably better anyway as i've got a busy summer and i have more time to plan out what to say/talk to anyone i might want to/ get some bravery and you're right about follow ups, that's very true. i forgot about that.
i think writing things down sounds good - so look as i can be coherent there - still gives me a chance to say silly things! i guess a simple bullet point list of symptoms that i have been able to recognise/know are real and stuff would be best?

i must have bored so many counsellor with my whinging on about completely irrelevant things that didn't even worry me - glad i'm not the only one who does that!

we dont bore them - just make their jobs more interesting  :whistler:

heehee, very true
thank you both x x x

[Tallulah]

also if you're planning on letting a friend in/seeing if they'll come with you, you could almost "rehearse" the appt so that your friend would be able to step in and speak on your behalf if needs be? x