Author Topic: DBT is tough *SH, sui*  (Read 1253 times)

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Offline so sad

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Re: DBT is tough *SH, sui*
« Reply #10 on: August 10, 2021, 01:03:37 PM »
Hi

Well done for seeking treatment from your GP, not always an easy thing to do.

I was taught that one of the differences between DBT and CBT is accepting that change is not always the answer. That sometimes we have to accept that things are the way they are and that the trick is learning how to manage that. So the skills won't get rid of your autism or change it, but it will equip you with ways to manage it and the feelings/emotions that it can cause. DBT is also about accepting that 2 things can be correct at the same time. So things can be really, really sh1t AND you can also be trying to learn how to improve how you feel about it. (not the best example, sorry!)

DBT won't get rid of my borderline personality disorder but it does help me manage how I react to things and as a result how I feel about things. Emotional reg was a big one for me, I learnt how to stop and take a breath. How to work out what emotion I was actually feeling (previously the emotions were so strong and overwhelming that I couldn't work it out) and then decide if it was the right emotion for the situation and what to do either way. It takes a lot of practice and you know what, some days you don't have the energy to put that effort in but those days get less and less OVER TIME. It all takes time, a lot of time so don't be hard on yourself.

Let us know (if you want to :)) how you get on at DBT today.

Thinking of you

Mx

Offline Vermilion

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Re: DBT is tough *SH, sui*
« Reply #11 on: August 10, 2021, 09:43:51 PM »
Thank you :hug1:

It makes sense when you talk about simply learning to manage our conditions rather than changing them, DBT therapist said something similar earlier but it's just so hard to get my head around it all. I struggle identifying emotions too and that's a major reason that I'm in DBT as well as reducing the 'severe' SH which can be dangerous at times.

DBT was fine, we did a chain analysis of the SH so at least something good came out of it, I realise that 'wise mind' would have been helpful which we'd learned in group the day after ::) but like my therapist pointed out I did try to use some of the skills and they didn't work this time but as I get better at them they'll become more effective.

I'm exhausted due to the infection but I should start to feel better soon, I guess that sorting out a self harm wound could still be considered to be a self care skill. I'm on antibiotics for two weeks now :(. I'm skipping the cross trainer until I'm feeling well enough and that's ok too.
Rabbits are better than people

Offline so sad

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Re: DBT is tough *SH, sui*
« Reply #12 on: August 11, 2021, 09:57:35 AM »
Hi

Wise Mind is a really tough one - it's one thing knowing we need to be in it but getting into it is another matter. DBT is completely about practice and that is what the feedback bit of the group is all about. Not necessarily going into detail about what triggered you but how you tried to use the skills - even if they didn't work for you in that example, you tried. That is all they want from you.

I'm going through a very nasty breakup and I spend a lot of time trying to identify the emotion and then what I can do with it. One of the skills I like is trying to see the thoughts as separate from me. Just because I have a thought does not mean it is a fact.

It does get better, trust me. You will have set backs - I've had many. Just when I thought I was nailing DBT and had a good run, BAM, something happened or things just dipped and I felt back at square one...but I wasn't. I still had the skills, it was just a case of working out which ones fit the situation/emotion.

You'll get a lot of handouts over the course of DBT, some won't fit with how you interpret the world, but some will and they are the ones to hold onto. I take photos of anything I think could help so I can look at them on my phone when I need to.

You're doing really well. SH does not stop the minute you start the course - mine certainly didn't so don't see it as a failure. Progress is not a straight line  :-*

xx