Tough to know what to answer here. It sounds like a difficult review meeting and one that clearly left you very emotional, I hope you will feel easier about it very soon. I guess from what you've said here alone, and without having been at the meeting also, I don't think they were 'in the wrong' they've made some tough statements, and asked difficult questions that perhaps were direct but maybe need to be asked?
I guess if you've found taking your meds difficult and therefore none of you can see if they might work it would be natural to ask what you feel may be of benefit to you. It would be working on the theory of having some idea of what doesn't work leading to some idea of what might. Again, if you're telling them your ok it's going to make it difficult for them to help you, I guess in an ideal world they would read between the lines and see you're not ok but time constraints makes that more of a counselling/therapist role rather than consultant psychiatric, my guess is they want to make better use of their time with you?
Food, hmm sounds like you're trying hard to convince yourself there too? I would guess there's more to that than not having time to eat, without pushing into the issue here I think someone needs to explore how making time to eat would make you feel.
I think with BPD (and I have it too) its quite difficult to read things in the way in which they should have come across (in fact you may also feel cross or annoyed with my reply) and this sometimes makes us feel as though people are not trying to help. BPD is a tough one, there will be things that are tough to hear but you will get through the tough times you just need to be honest about your thoughts and feelings and be prepared to be challenged about them.
Good luck with your recovery, it's ok to feel anger all part of the process, I think it's great you've expressed you thoughts here