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DBT is tough *SH, sui*

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I'm just starting the full course of DBT and it's so difficult. It's online via video chat and I hate being on the camera so that's making it even tougher. I hate doing the group, not because anyone is horrible but I find it so difficult to speak and follow what others are saying. There's so much insistence on speaking in the group, if I try and be silent the facilitator keeps asking me questions but I'd prefer to observe and listen and ask questions in the one to one. When we were doing the pre assessment stuff it brought up difficult things and things that I'm ashamed of, then I have to do the group which is really tough.

I'm scared that I'm going to fail it, that things are going to get worse, that it doesn't work. I'm exhausted and stressed sometimes to the point where I cry. I feel a really strong urge to b**n and b**n until I feel anything other than what I'm feeling now, of course I don't even fully understand what I'm feeling so it makes it difficult to explain. There are times, which are getting more and more frequent, where I feel like I just want to end things now, I just want it over y'know? Thing is no amount of DBT is going to change how horrible this world is and it feels like I could be wasting my time if I don't want to live in this world anyway.

Maybe I should tell someone how I'm feeling about it all? I'm worried that they'll make me stop the treatment if they know that it's making me feel so bad.  ::-\: I'm not sure if I can do this for a whole year but I also feel like this is my only hope. I've got a lot of mixed feelings about it and I'm really struggling with them.

I hope they help you.

so sad:

DBT is really hard. I did the 12 month course of it and there were times, many times, when I thought I'd have to drop out, it just felt too hard.

I was lucky in that I got to go to group. I had never imagined that I would feel OK in a group setting, it was my worse nightmare but as time went on, I found it easier and really helpful. There is a push to talk, I get that and it takes a while for the dynamics of the group to settle in but once that happens you'll all know who the chatty ones are and who the quieter ones are.

They like you to ask questions about the skills you are learning. Give a bit of feedback on the homework you've done. They don't expect you to bare all, just some to show that you are committed to it.

I had a lot of major wobbles, almost got kicked off once and almost dropped out a couple more times. When I got to the end I was gutted. I was leaving a great group and an even better therapist and I really never thought I would feel that way. I was also upset that I didn't feel I was where I wanted to be, where I thought I would be at the end but its been a couple of years since I finished and I've realised that you never finish learning - you will always have to work at the skills but then you find yourself using them without having really thought too much about it.

Give yourself time. Talk to your therapist about your difficulties in the group and how you are feeling. They may be able to give you some tips on how to manage the group setting and help you identify bits of skills to help with the emotions. They know its  a huge undertaking and they know how hard it is to get your head around new things when your head is already messed up.

Take deep breaths (cliche I know but trust me, it helps) and be kind to yourself (Again, I know how hard that can be).

I'm here if you want to talk or ask me anything about DBT.


Hey Vermilion.

I finish DBT in the middle of September after completing two rounds (60 group sessions in total and a similar number of individual sessions.) It is HARD, no denying that, and there have been so many times when I've thought that I just cannot. But I have, you know? And though I'm definitely not cured, my quality of life has improved (that was the aim - no one thought it'd remove my issues completely.) It is worth sticking with, I can assure you of that.

It's hard facing group when you've been raw and honest with the facilitators and they're aware of things you rather they weren't. I really struggled with that after a disclosure too. But the judgement came from me - not from them. It'll be similar for you, I'd imagine. We are so harsh on ourselves and it's totally undeserved.

Same as M (So Sad), happy to chat to you about DBT/Skills/Etc should that be helpful. :)


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