Heya.
Thank you for all of the lovely responses.
I just wanted to say hi and update you a little bit. Had a blip a little while ago, but things are much improved now.
University is definitely going ahead. I had my DSA assessment a few weeks ago.and I'm being provided with some equipment, software and a mentor for an hour a week during term time. Student finance has been agreed to cover tuition and maintenance and work are changing my hours to accommodate the days I have lectures (8 years later and they are still being incredible.)
I'm finally getting to meet the boy I've been talking to at the end of the month. He lives in Wales, so we haven't been able to see each other in person, though we video chat regularly and message daily.
Weight loss and staying active is going well. I've been going to some outdoor classes since the end of March and it's been so nice to exercise in a group again. The gym opens on Monday and I'm booked in for some personal training starting in a couple of weeks.
I've got two modules of DBT left before I'll have completed my two rounds. I'll then be doing some work with my SCM practitioner as well as some trauma work if I feel I want to/it would be helpful. DBT is blooming difficult, more difficult than anything I've ever done. It's becoming clearer how worth it it is though, even if I still sometimes really fight against it. I'm scared I don't know enough and that I'll not be able to keep up with skills, but I know I have to try my absolute hardest if I'm going to live the life I'd like to.
I still have my wonderful friends, my family and my cat. I still have my beautiful flat with a bench in the sunny courtyard. I still have hope that things can get better and that perhaps I can actually do this.