SH for first time in a while, now annoyed at scars...

[danceforabeat]

I SH'd for the first time in a long time on Tuesday...been good since, despite buying more SH stuff on Wednesday, but now I'm really annoyed at myself because I've SH'd a bit lower on my arm than previously and now there are certain tops I can't wear without it being visible. Put a top on for work on Friday and realised...had to make sure I kept a cardigan on all day, and just now, called my brother to ask if he would come over to help with some furniture moving and sat down on the sofa to realise it was totally visible with my t-shirt on...so on my cardigan went. It's a good thing it's winter and I don't heat my house like a furnace!

So...now I'm annoyed at myself, which I am a bit worried is going to turn into a vicious circle of SH - annoyed at myself - SH. I think it would be best to just accept that I did it and there's nothing I can do to change it and just try hard not to do it (as difficult as it gets sometimes), but I just can't seem to.

Any tips for calming myself down about this?

[behindthewall]

I did something very similar a few weeks ago and it is really awkward as I hate being too hot when I realise I need to grab a cardigan.

I bought some bio oil a while back which does seem to speed up the fading a bit once the wound has healed over. I find it helps me to avoid the vicious circle to be actively doing something to speed the healing process. It's hard to be sure how much difference it makes to the scar fading but it does help me to be taking action.

xx

[danceforabeat]

I suppose being proactive has got to be better than just being annoyed at myself...I might try that. I have some bio oil somewhere (I've just moved house but I'm fairly sure it's in a box somewhere!), so might try that once the wounds have healed over.

Thanks for the idea x

[behindthewall]

Hope you find it and hope it helps.

If nothing else I quite like the smell!

[poppet]

Hello,
I'm just the same. I cut and I enjoy my initial cuts, if enjoy is the right word! Certainly to see them calms me down for some considerable time until I realise they start restricting what I wear, who sees me etc.and then I feel annoyed. I use neat lavender oil  or rosehip oil. The rosehip oil is great . If it wasn't for the wretched scars I'd never want to stop cutting.  I'm about a month clean but desperate to start again and i put it down to the scars I just havent yet. And the rosehip oil, its great on your face too .

[hayley]

After not hurting for a while it is annoying when you do so again
The very fact you cut lower than you normally do shows you had a real need as there was less control with it
So lets turn it on its head - what would you have done if you hadn't cut?
Maybe the result would have been worse thus making you feel even more bad than you do now

Honestly the best thing to try to do now is to draw a line under it and accept you've hurt again
The more annoyance, anger, maybe even guilt you feel is more likely to make you feel like cutting again
Nobody wants that for you

[HG888]

I freaking love the smell of bio oil 

But anyway, relapse is part of recovery, right? Just keep moving forward, and remember that everything fades. It might take a while, but it will. Maybe wear something that covers it up for the moment (so you don't keep looking at it and feeling guilty or upset with yourself), and do something else to take your mind off, something that makes you happy.

And also, I know you bought new stuff, and if it is at all possible for you, throw it away! It's no good for you, sitting somewhere accessible