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NSHN Forum Support & On Topic Forums. Some additional boards are viewable to members only => Survivor Room => Topic started by: Lily Kym on September 29, 2015, 10:11:32 PM
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So had my assessment today.
Looks like I'll be starting group therapy in a few months.
It's a minimum commitment of 18 months, three days a week. Goes up to three years.
Feeling very triggered from bringing up things I had buried after last years therapy. Not sure how to deal with it
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I'm glad things are finally moving forward for you Lily though it is a shame it all takes so long to happen.
It isn't really helpful for you to have everything stirred up by your assessment then being left to deal with it for a few months before therapy. Do you have any professional support in the mean time? Someone you could talk to? :hug2:
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Thank you for replying xx really means a lot.
I use to come on here so much but now hardly come on do didn't expect anyone to reply as I don't have capacity to offer support to others xx
No not help. GP is ok but she's mainly concerned with my f****d up liver caused by ODs and my heat murmur. BP is still sky high too, and I'm being referred for the possible tumour on adrenal glad
Too much going on
Am off venlafaxine now too. That was so hard. Going on mirtazapine
Been off work 7 wks following surgery - so used that time to come off completely
Brain zaps last so long.
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I hope you soon feel much better and that the therapy will be helpful to you. Will you have to give up work (once well enough to return) as the therapy is quite intensive? Do apply for benefits if there is that reduction in your income and change of circumstances.
That does sound worrying about your liver. Will it replenish itself over time? Can you stop/reduce the ODs to give your liver a break? You deserve so much more and not to feel physically ill, the mental stuff is more than difficult enough.
I hope the mitrazepine works for you. You should be getting support from the cmht in the meantime until the psychotherapy programme starts.
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Thinking of you xx
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I was just wondering how you are now? Complex Needs Service is tough going but, there is something that seems to work afterwards although it can seem to be a while after completion of their therapy. Wishing you well as you take this journey forward.
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Still on assessment phase
Until I'm off of mirtazapine and mis use of non prescription and prescription medication they won't have me on the group
Thank you for asking though x
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Do you have to be off Mitrazepine as a prescribed antidepressant? That does sound very strict and inflexible. I think that PD/complex needs programmes can leave people without support unless they conform to various rules which wouldn't be imposed on others with a different psychiatric diagnosis. You deserve all the support possible and if you are misusing other drugs then that is a symptom of distress rather than a behaviour that should exclude you from getting that support. Forgive me if this sounds hard on my part. I hope the 'assessment phase' does offer some options in terms of talking therapies and crisis support. Do you know how long this phase lasts and what happens if you are not 100% off meds? Witholding support until you comply would be the wrong approach and just leave you in the same place for longer maybe with tragic consequences.
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They basically keep forgetting about me. Was supposed to have an appointment sent before Xmas to see her early January. I'm so tired of chasing them.
No self harm at all or you're out
No mis use of meds or you're out
"You're very lucky to be given this opportunity Gemma don't mess it up"
Psychiatrist has finished with me as I'm under complex needs
I have no crisis care. Nothing
Gp took me off venlafaxine as it made my bp sky rocket, according to her. But it's still pushing 190/110 daily, despite bp meds. I think it would be easier all round for them if I was gone tbh
Save nhs money. Give someone a slot with complex needs who deserves it.
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I don't think it sounds as though you are lucky to be given 'the opportunity' of this complex needs service given their exclusions. It is shameful if this service rejects people if they express distress through self harm or other so called behaviours. It seems like blackmail to exclude someone in that way when they are already down and desperate. I was in a therapeutic community in the past and now refuse to even think of going back to one. I know this may not sound very pro recovery on my part, but some services let really vulnerable people down and then there are no alternatives. I think with PD this is more likely to happen and the mantra goes about 'taking responsibility'. For some people that may work, but there are casualties to this kind of approach.
Could you get your GP to write to the CCG to complain about the lack of care for you? You need to make a formal complaint and see where that gets to you. The complex needs service probably isn't forever so you would hope to have a backup before, during and after. If you don't last the programme then what happens?
The way you feel forgotten by the service and don't get appointments through doesn't bode well.
You could try the programme and avoid all forms of sh for the duration but I would hope there was enough support and you had other coping strategies in place for when things got trying.
You are worth the help and more. Noone should suffer with such extreme distress.. this isn't your fault. Mental health services amount to a rubbish system though there are good people who work within it who do want to make a difference to people's lives. You are on the wrong side of that system at the moment and just getting a very limited/no choice.
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Thank you so much for your reply and making me feel like I do matter. It means a lot.
It did feel like a threat when she said it to me, and when I met the group facilitator it felt like I was being put on the spot and asked to commit to it there and then.
Since found out it wouldn't be him, and it wouldn't be the group I met as they have all already started. Just feel like I don't matter to them.
I will try and see GP about it. She tried referring me back to CMHT for Med review when I switched from venlafaxine (psychiatrist prescribed) to mirtazapine. Because I didn't (and still haven't heard back), she's said I need to stay on smaller dose of mirtazapine as she doesn't know if it's right for me. She said I've had pretty much every AD and a few APs over the years
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You do matter and it makes me feel quite angry that you and others are let down in this way by inflexible service models.
Someone with anorexia wouldn't be told that they couldn't enter ED treatment until she started eating. It is actually the reverse in EDUs where often patients have to drop in their BMI until dangerously ill.
Self harm isn't understood or accepted by mental health services. I find that treatment is better in general health care - A&E, paramedics or GP practice nurses than in mental health which is a bad reflection of the NHS mental health system. Having no cutting contracts doesn't work. My private psychotherapist did the same and I just ended up feeling a failure and once I had harmed it was though I had lost him and the therapy sessions I'd paid thousands for and had little other hope/options. I think it's worse to do that to someone in the NHS as then the service user is blamed for not complying and committing, the fact that someone self harms due to severe emotional distress is lost. It is as though it is seen as an addiction and something that has to stop for you to deserve a place on a programme. Only once outside that system can you see how punitive and unhelpful it all is.
You do need to get what help you can from your GP, get them to re-refer to the CMHT and not give up. If there is no other service for you and the complex needs team won't assist unless you abstain from all self harm (something that is unlikely to succeed) then the GP needs to take this up with the commissioners.
I think I remember from your previous posts that you work? I think that when we do work especially full time it is easier for services to see us as high functioning and not get involved. On one hand they encourage work for all as a recovery outcome, on the other they think once someone is in work then they are fine/have no needs. You need your GP to fight your corner, if your GP is of little help do try someone else from the practice.
If this complex needs service isn't going to accept you then you need to talk to them and your GP about what else. But don't see it as your failure - it is 'the system'. It took me ages to understand that for myself and still I am building a sense of self acceptance and fighting spirit.
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Also, if you do go into the programme you need to be prepared beforehand for a group therapy model. This often means that everything has to be taken to 'the group', there is no one to one support and you may need to disclose private issues. For some people this can work well, it feels containing and real relationships are formed in helping one another. I think for others who have experienced trauma it can be hard to share more widely than with one person. Any self harm would be challenged by the group, and in a therapeutic community model the group may even be making a decision about what response is applied - eg over suspension due to incidents.
I don't mean to knock a programme I don't know about, every service is different of course and most of all I would want you to get really skilled, therapeutic care. If you feel you need crisis support and some flexibility around meds beyond what they have outlined already though then that needs to be considered. It could be that the group itself would provide the crisis care/members being on call. I would hope the programme isn't all black and white and that if you needed to stay on meds then that could be accommodated. Also there could perhaps be understandable rules around self harm - eg not doing it on the premises, that would make sense to you rather than it being do it in private and you are out of the programme. People entering the programme are individuals and one size doesn't fit all. I hope that once you do get an appointment through the programme is more promising and accommodating than it appears to be right now. You need and deserve the support. You wouldn't be messing up an opportunity, instead the service needs to see how it can best help you - and a good effect of this all working/coming together would be that you didn't feel the need to self harm or take too many meds. You have been brave in agreeing to the referral, seeing what is involved.
By the way,I am sorry if I got it wrong about you working- I may be thinking about someone else's post and am not implying anything about your health status. Hope that's okay...