A young suvivor:
As a child I was generally happy from the ages 0 to about 7. From then on things never went my way.
At the age of 8 other girls were beggining to start hating me. This continued for more years. At the ages 10-11 this was at it's worse. I was being called so many names.
"eww you're fat" "You're a loser" "I hate you" "I don't want to be friends with you anymore"
I was ten at the time and didn't know what I had done wrong.
Luckily I had this friend I met on MovieStarPlanet when I was about 6 or 7.
She helped me through a lot. I spoke about my problems a lot but I never really listened to her. When I was 11 she took her own life. I didn't know what to do. I felt extremely numb and just dead inside. Like a part of me was taken away. She was my everything and I still miss her and think of her every night.
When I was 10 a rumour was passed around about me. Everyone was calling me a w****.
I then moved up to highschool. Ahh a fresh start I thought. Who knew that these years were going to be so hard on me.
This is when I started self-harming. I remember the first time I did it. I promised myself never again. But it was like a drug. I couldn't stop. I rememeber cutting all down my arm and then avoiding people in school in case they noticed.
I remember one day I was about to write a story when I recieved a instagram notification from an account I had never heard of before. It had tagged me in a photo. The photo was off my instagram profile.
This girl is a tramp she is ugly as f*** and can go drop dead go kill yourself and make everyone's life much easier because you are fat and ugly go get a tool and slit your neck who cares hahahahaaaaa
The account was hacked and deleted. Another account was made and with that another post was made:
Right where do I start. She is ugly and fat as everyone knows and she is bisexual and self harms because she has nothing better to do with her life all she wants is sympathy. Go die in a hole.
I was being targeted on direct message. I blocked the account but it kept coming back. One day I'd had enough and this led to my first suicide attempt.
I wont go into much detail as I'm going to do seperate posts for that.
All I'll say is I woke up the next day and I felt so dissapointed in myself that I'd failed something so easy.
I went into school like nothing had happened and locked myself in the toilets.
I cut everyday either on my legs or hips. One time I had cut way too deep. I freaked out so much.
At the age of 12 I couldn't deal with the pain. So i reached out for help. But thats another story
And now at the age of 13 I'm happier. I still struggle with thoughts of suicide and self harm but it's getting better.
The aim of this post was to show you that everything will get better no matter how bad things really are. Take it from me a girl who at the tender age of 11 began cutting.
There is always a reason to live.
I know sometimes things get hard to deal with but cutting and hurting yourself isn't going to help. No matter how often you do it. I'm always and I mean ALWAYS here to talk to. Don't be afraid to talk to me. I'm only a message away. I have many ways you could message me.
Just message me.
I have an instagram account named @darkness.everywhere_
Feel free to direct message me <3
Stay strong beautiful. I know you can do this. I love you.
-Kayleigh x