So, things haven't been good. I've not been sleeping well and it has been difficult to relax at all. This has been going on for a few weeks now. I can't work at the moment which means a massive change because before this started I was working quite a lot and now not only do I have more time to fill because of not sleeping well...i also have days to fill because of being at home.
So far my GP has been pretty much just throwing sick notes and temazepam in my direction. he said this week that if i am not different next week he will have to refer me back to a psychiatrist because he doesn't know what he is doing.
it feels like a bit of an ultimatum that I don't know how to achieve.
I have seen 4 Psychiatrists over 9 years and got on with them differently each time. One I saw for nearly 6 years and he was epic, but then he moved and I saw someone else who decided that it wasn't going to work and referred me to a different Psychiatrist. That one then f***ed about with arranging and cancelling appointments for months and decisions he made about people I know made it almost impossible for me to trust him anyway...so I decided id had enough of being messed about by someone that I don't think I can trust anyway. I discharged myself and the Psychiatrist I'd never even met sent a pretty b**chy letter to the GP and the therapist wrote to them again for me to explain what actually happened. The whole process was pretty stressful and I don't really want to repeat it.
I don't have a problem with Psychiatrists in general I don't think, but I feel a bit stuck. I don't want to go back through the same messing about process. it feels a lot like the one I saw for a long time pretty much sheltered me from a really badly organised system where people do get messed about...but I can't keep going with things how they are and the GP doesn't know what to do. The other aspect of that is that I don't know how long that would take to sort out.
just a bit.... :penguinswirl: :doggy:
not really sure what to do. I don't know how to not be like this and I'm really not keen on going backwards