Author Topic: I feel too old to be doing this...am I alone?  (Read 10534 times)

0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline Butterfly20

  • --- Standard Member
  • First posts
  • *
  • Posts: 3
I feel too old to be doing this...am I alone?
« on: May 03, 2015, 10:58:49 PM »
I have been a self-harmer for about 18 months, which was triggered by an abusive relationship. Even now when I have been free of that relationship for a while, I still self-harm in situations where I feel helpless or have a lack of control.

The thing is, I'm in my late twenties, and sometimes I feel so embarrassed. Everything I hear and come across in the media about self-harm is always, always related to teenagers, and just makes me feel, am I being childish by not being able to control this addiction? And this means that finding support is really hard too as it's always tailored towards teenagers/young adults.

Does anyone else have this issue? I'd love to hear whether people have similar experiences.

Offline Terri

  • Orsem superstar-ess
  • Administrator
  • Always here
  • *****
  • Posts: 15478
  • Redemption.
Re: I feel too old to be doing this...am I alone?
« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2015, 11:10:01 PM »
I think you'll find quite a few people here who are past their teenage years. I'm 28 next month.


Finding support can be hard. What avenues have you tried?


:hug1:
Chief :smurf: Pry Master.


And hope and grace were all I needed.

This isn't everything you are.

Offline hayley

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 1006
Re: I feel too old to be doing this...am I alone?
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2015, 11:51:53 PM »
I was a lot older when I started doing it regularly. Before that it was one-off incidents.

I felt the same as you do but it really isn't just for kids

Its about not being able to express yourself

Not able to argue

Not able to have your voice heard

Not able to say what you're really feeling/thinking cos you don't want to upset anyone

So as you can see its not just youngsters who feel that way
Check out my blog! www.borderlineshavemoref un@wordpress.com

Offline Vermilion

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 5200
Re: I feel too old to be doing this...am I alone?
« Reply #3 on: May 04, 2015, 12:24:34 AM »
You're certainly not alone in this, I'm 27 and SH regularly. SH can affect people of any age, when I was in hospital recently (unrelated) there was a woman next to me who was in her 50s who had SH'd. You're not being 'childish'.  :hug2:
Rabbits are better than people

Offline inmythirties

  • 18+
  • Bronze Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 84
Re: I feel too old to be doing this...am I alone?
« Reply #4 on: May 04, 2015, 06:38:06 AM »
I relate to the lack of any help or information aimed at adults. It is as though we reach the age of 25 then self harm becomes rare. However, I think the reality is that many do self harm or return to self harm in difficulty well past teens/early 20s. I am in my late 30s and still self harm. It can feel very lonely, and wrong somehow, that self harm can be a high profile subject of concern among young people but beyond that we don't exist or matter. You are in great distress and deserve to be taken seriously, do ask for help, there is nothing to be ashamed of. I think in the past that anorexia for instance was considered to be prevalent among girls and young women, but now there is growing recognition it can affect women and men in their forties and beyond.
I struggle with both eating disorders and self harm, they seem to be connected - I am never without either of them.

Offline Butterfly20

  • --- Standard Member
  • First posts
  • *
  • Posts: 3
Re: I feel too old to be doing this...am I alone?
« Reply #5 on: May 04, 2015, 09:47:08 AM »
I think you'll find quite a few people here who are past their teenage years. I'm 28 next month.


Finding support can be hard. What avenues have you tried?


:hug1:

I have tried general counselling and am considering giving it another try. I had a lot of support from women's aid for the abuse and joined a support group, but that was the other extreme and I found it was more for women with children. I've been looking now for support more specifically for self harming but a lot of the helplines and websites are more for people under the age of 18.

Thank you for your replies. It's helpful for me to see that there are others out there like me. 

Offline Rosie26

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 915
Re: I feel too old to be doing this...am I alone?
« Reply #6 on: May 04, 2015, 01:21:28 PM »
 :hug1: :hug2:

You're certainly not alone, I'm 26 and self harm regularly xx

Offline carrotcake

  • 18+
  • Silver Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 127
  • macaron aficionado
Re: I feel too old to be doing this...am I alone?
« Reply #7 on: May 09, 2015, 06:27:28 AM »
I'm 25 this year and often all the help/info I find is directed at teens... you're not alone xx
"A heart's a heavy burden."
~ Sophie (Howl's Moving Castle) ♪

♥ Last SH: 20/5/2015

Offline Lorien

  • 18+
  • Usually here
  • ***
  • Posts: 6575
Re: I feel too old to be doing this...am I alone?
« Reply #8 on: June 07, 2015, 03:15:53 AM »
25....a lot of people here are not teenagers. It's a really unhelpful stereotype but you're definitely not alone
“Dark times lie ahead of us and there will be a time when we must choose between what is easy and what is right.”

“It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

Offline Twilight

  • 18+
  • First posts
  • ***
  • Posts: 6
Re: I feel too old to be doing this...am I alone?
« Reply #9 on: June 11, 2015, 04:17:40 AM »
I'm 35 :-/ for me it started in my mid twenties postnatally.