Thank you for the replies.
To be honest, I do not think that it is that the emotion is too huge or too painful....it's not that I am blocking it out, it is just that there is nothing there at all. I was not worried when she got rushed to hospital, I just carried on with work, went to the pub with my mates at lunch, had a usual weekend.
I wish I could pretend that I am just blocking things out but it doesn't feel as though there is anything there too block out. I like to think that if it was my parents who had died, I WOULD be upset, if only on the inside. Because I actually know and like them.
I only saw my nan once a year, if that, and I have never thought of her as a particularly pleasant person for various reasons.
Thinking about it logically, she was old, it was 'her time'. It was not unexpected, or unjust, or unfair. Thinking back the only times death upsets me is when it seems 'not right'. Ie, when I have got upset it's not due to any actual human empathy, but because it seems that things have not run their natural course.
Not wishing to pass the buck.....but today my mum accused my nan's children of 'navel gazing' because they were sad when she was in hospital. Maybe that's where I get it from.