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91

Survivor Room / Re: why not? *TRIG SH*

« Last post by Natlovbi on June 17, 2022, 04:50:24 PM »

Hi
I understand what you mean in a way. It doesn't resolve things but for me it's helpful (odd way to put it I know). To be honest I wish I had never started over a decade ago. I go through phases and agree about the being safe, minimising risk, first aid supplies etc. For me it's about reducing the self harm at the moment rather than stopping but that will be the overall goal in the future.

92

Survivor Room / Re: why not? *TRIG SH*

« Last post by Vermilion on June 17, 2022, 10:22:26 AM »

There are a few reasons for me but I think the biggest reason for me to stop was the risks of it, I may not have intended to end things but it could've happened due to either the extent of the injury or the resulting infections and there were longer term effects of the injuries such as itching, scarring and possible mobility issues depending on what and where the injury was. While it started off fairly minor and wasn't much of a problem it did escalate to the point where it became life threatening at times. A life revolving around A&E, b**n units, dressing changes and the like isn't a great life to be honest.

Another factor was that by self harming I wasn't dealing with the emotions properly  and it was doing little to help in the long term regardless of severity. As I got older I never learned to cope with various aspects of life such as work, relationships, bereavement etc and I just relied on self harm more and more which is likely why it escalated to the extend that it did.  I'm gradually gaining better function in these areas of life by learning to understand and deal with emotions effectively rather than just suppressing them through self harm.

I think that while it could appear as a positive or helpful thing it's usually a symptom of other issues or illnesses which will need to be addressed. It's not an easy process and will need professional intervention and when you start that process is, of course, up to you. I will say that if you are going to be self harming keep it safe; minimise the damage, keep it clean, keep first aid supplies, keep emergency money for late night hospital trips and get medical attention when you need it.

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Survivor Room / why not? *TRIG SH*

« Last post by iris on June 16, 2022, 09:54:20 PM »

not entirely sure this fits this board or indeed this community in general. obligatory apologising for existing out of the way -

i'm curious about people's reasons to avoid sh. for me sh is entirely positive, and that seems to be unusual enough that wanting to (eventually, when able) stop goes without saying. if anyone particularly feels like talking about their reasons i'd be really interested

94

Survivor Room / Re: If there was a cure for autism...

« Last post by Gerard on June 05, 2022, 09:27:54 AM »

Black and white thinking causes so much interference. It's either A or B, decided in a nano second.

95

Survivor Room / Re: How do you start talking about 'trauma'...?

« Last post by Vermilion on May 16, 2022, 01:00:30 PM »

It might be a good idea to do some work around dealing with emotions safely before going on depth about any trauma. When I first talked to my old CC about it I explained that I was worried about the consequences of going in depth without knowing how to cope because my SH was already 'severe' and 'high risk' and I was really worried about that. We agreed that it was best to do DBT first before moving on to trauma work,  definitely ask about a referral for it.

How you express things that happened is really up to you, including the pace at which you say it. I started off simply saying that 'horrible things' had happened that I need to deal with but that I was concerned about escalating SH (as I explained above). I know what you mean about not using certain words, I also don't like the word 'trauma' and there are a few other words that I won't say and My CC and DBT therapist are fine with it.

Before your next appointment have a think about what you'd like to happen here. Do you want to manage your emotions better before delving too deep? Do you want to have a safety plan in place first? Do you want to do DBT first? Then discuss it with here, a good MH practitioner should listen and help you work through things safely.

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Survivor Room / How do you start talking about 'trauma'...?

« Last post by Turtle on May 12, 2022, 11:51:54 PM »

Without going off the rails...

There's a new mh practitioner who I've been seeing for a couple of times, and it looks like it's going to become a regular thing. She's already wound me up completely - didn't seem to have any background info about me at all, not even diagnosis, recent treatment. But I'm trying to get past it, because I understand there's still some stuff to work on and I don't want to be living in constant fear of all the things that trigger me.

She's started to talk about 'trauma' (which is never something I'd thought about). Initially she said she'd refer me to trauma psychotherapy, without really explaining what that entailed, but she's now dropped that without explaining why. Instead today she spent the hour telling me that I had to just say xyz things that have happened, that I don't talk about, and that make me feel instant panic if I try to think about them. She seems to think just saying it to someone will magically fix everything - I explained that I can't see that making a difference AND that life gets very chaotic if I try thinking and talking about it. She just insisted that I should talk about it.

I honestly don't know if I'm meant to just say it to her? Or what the plan is? I really don't know how it's supposed to work and want some reassurance that there's a safety net of sorts.

I also never used the word 'trauma' to talk about things in my past, so that's all new and overwhelming (and I don't really trust that judgement)

Sorry if this isn't making sense. I just need to know what it looks like on the other side of this (and how you get there). I can't imagine living without this burden.

97

Research Topics / Participants needed for study evaluating self-harm lived experience stories

« Last post by jfsra on April 14, 2022, 12:35:34 PM »

I am a researcher from the University of Bristol looking to recruit individuals who have experience of self-harm* to take part in an online research study. The internet offers an important avenue for supporting people who self-harm, and who may be unable to access "real world" help. This study will provide insight into the types of online support content that are most effective.

The study will take approximately 30 minutes to complete and upon completion you can choose to be entered into a prize draw to win one of four Love2shop £50 gift vouchers.

*TRIGGER WARNING* The content in the study does not include any physical details of self-harm, but the subject matter may be triggering or upsetting to those who have experience of self-harm. It is up to you to decide if you would like to take part and are free to exit the study at any point if you change your mind. You will also be provided with a list of support services.

For further information about the study, and for details on how to take part, please visit this link https://research.sc/participant/login/dynamic/F7276A95-FE55-4E9A-86B4-AE67381997C1. You can also send an email to [email protected] with any questions about the study.

*To be eligible for this study, you will need to have self-harmed in the past year. You will also need to be at least 16 years of age, a resident in the United Kingdom, and fluent in English.

Thanks for your time.

98

Survivor Room / NICE public consultation on SH

« Last post by Gerard on February 24, 2022, 08:09:09 AM »

Deadline is 5pm, March 1st. https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/indevelopment/gid-ng10148/consultation/html-content-2

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Survivor Room / Re: If there was a cure for autism...

« Last post by Vermilion on February 09, 2022, 09:16:08 PM »

I don't know anyone else who's on the spectrum aside from a cousin that I don't see very often. I suspect that one of my current partners might be but obviously I can't be certain on this one. With regard to the second thing;

anyone else feel like they're constantly trying to 'fix' aspects of their life (work, social, talking to people, life, etc) and find it exhausting?

.

Yes, 100% agree, absolutely get it! I'm half way through DBT and I feel like I'm trying to overhaul my entire mind. Social things are particularly difficult because I'm analysing every phrase I use and I'm concentrating so hard on non verbal things to the point where I miss snippets of conversation, NT's are baffling! When I come hone from any intense social things I need several days to recover. I'd have the same problem at work when I worked in unsuitable environments (noisy/busy) and was also trying to maintain the social side pretty much broke my brain and I ended up losing yet another job. This was pre diagnosis though so I didn't know why I struggled with things so much at the time. And the b***** small talk; I'm sorry if being quiet annoys you, would you like to talk about the weather and state the obvious about how wet it is while stood in the rain? Or did you want to talk about how tired you are and then I'll tell you how tired I am? That kind of small talk bores me and I'd get home so exhausted from it but unable to sleep for some reason. Then I'd go back to work and repeat ad infinitum. Apparently it's ok for people to make me talk but rude if I try to make them shut up!   

 I find basic life tasks pretty exhausting as well, I can have a complete meltdown if my routines or plans get messed with at the last minute. I'd say that because of these issues that being on the spectrum creates such high emotions all day everyday because of anxiety, sensory issues and frustration etc that we're bound to be tired because high emotions do that to everyone. Even NTs find that they are exhausted after something like a funeral because emotions are so intense and draining, we experience intense emotions every day so how can we be anything but tired? The world is mentally, and thus physically, draining.

100

Survivor Room / Re: If there was a cure for autism...

« Last post by Gerard on February 06, 2022, 06:05:18 PM »

We're both on a autism project which is how I know her. Have only met her once and that was before the world changed. She would have move sensory challenges than I do. She finds text draining and emojis meaningless.

Voice note, I'd jot down a few things in advance to remember what to say and then send it on WhatsApp. Maybe sharing some personal stuff (depression, etc). My psychologist would say being more open with people is something I need to do more of.

On another note, anyone else feel like they're constantly trying to 'fix' aspects of their life (work, social, talking to people, life, etc) and find it exhausting?