When children see scars and stuff...

[stan]

Stan jr just caught a glimpse of my arm and asked what happened to me... So I said it was just a scratch and then he rolled up a bit of my sleeve and asked what happened there and I said they were just more scratches. He's never asked about scars before (probably because he's used to seeing them) but yeahh, I don't know what I would say if he asks about fresh stuff and scars again. What would all you awesome people say if a child asks awkward questions about SH?

[Mike]

I always try to be as honest as possible?

[Reeta]

My friends granddaughter grew up from 2 to 7 without questioning my scars.
I lived with my friend for a year and before I moved in I asked if she preferred me to wear long sleeves etc when little was around but she was of the opinion that if little saw them and grew up with them then it would be normal for her.

We made it all the way to 7 until she asked about them. Sitting on my knee she suddenly ran a finger over one of them and asked what it was (I think because she saw her mums c-section scar) I was shocked and looked to my friend as to tell the truth or say something else but she got in there first and said that I had a poorly arm, it was hurting me, and the Drs had to fix it like they fixed her mums belly after her little brother came out.

So it's truthful in a sense, the best way for her to understand at 7.

[kazza05]

I asked my sister what she wanted me to say if my nephew ever asked (hes only 2 so I think its not going to be for a while) but she said we should be open about. Hes going to see it the rest of his life (we live very close) and so if he ever asks I'll just explain that I was hurting but I got better (when hes younger) and when he is old enough to understand I will explain it properly. I don't want him to even ever think about doing it so I want him to know from the off that I am there for him.

[Terri]

I hope you find a way, Stan. There have been some great suggestions here.


I'm interested in the responses because I have similar questions about what to tell my cousins. One is six and one is four. The four year old has not said anything, but the six year old has seen some scars and did ask what they were (I always wear long sleeves around them, but my sleeve rode up and exposed a few old scars.) I didn't handle it very well. I told her it was nothing. She said "but I saw something." So I told her she could unsee it... :frying pan: I just did not have a clue how to react. My Aunt, her Mum, knows all about the self-harm, but I don't feel comfortable enough to ask her what she wants me to do.

[Ks500001]

my two kids (7 and 4) have grown up seeing my scars. I've olny ever gone out my way to cover them up if i have had fresh marks (and to keep out of sight of my OH too!).  They have never really asked what happened, only 'what is that', or comments like 'mummy, your arms are soo bumpy'  infact, my 4yr old seems convinced my arm is covered in a jumper!  I think if and when the questions come, I'll try and put it like -"i was sick, and you know like your chicken pox scars, well these scars are from the illness i had. But i feel much better now"  i don't know now seeing that written down, they will probably freak out about catching something. But for me, the only reason i have scars is because of the depression, which is an illness i guess. Maybe i do need to think about this a bit more!