I've accepted my scars but my family can't

[RawRR234]

Every morning I get up and put on a pair of leggings and a long sleeved top no matter what the weather. I do this because my mother and sister can't yet cope with seeing my scars exposed despite the fact that my visible scars are all at least 2 years old. These days I hide my SH better but still when I wear a pretty dress I can't get my legs out because of the pain in my mothers eyes when she sees the scars. Whenever my forearms or legs are exposed there's an awkwardness in the room, neither my mother or sister can look me in the eye and they stare at my legs like i've got 8 of them. How do you cope with your family's reactions to your scars? At this point im comfortable enough in my own skin to not care if i'm just running to the bathroom or grabbing a glass of water but yet before I leave my room I still put on the leggings and the long sleeved top because I cant bear the hurt in my family's eyes. Is there anyway to make it okay for them to see my scars? Is there anyway to lessen the hurt they experience everytime they see my legs?

[Rob]

 :wave:

Have you tried using any concealer/camouflage products until they get more used to things? The scars should becoming less noticeable with time anyway, but some folks take longer to get used to seeing them. There might be some ideas in the section on scars in the reference part that might help.

[Je7]

That sounds really tough. My parents seem to be okay with my scars (both my arms are scarred quite badly) and my sister is fab, she never stares at them and has helped me a lot. However going out in the summer is tough. Being stared at is horrible. I'm sorry you feel you have to cover your scars. I was thinking about maybe pulling your leggings up slowly day by day to kind of let your mum gradually see your scars? It's horrible thinking that you've hurt your family by hurting yourself, and I completely understand. I hope you get some better answers than mine on this topic! 

[Lorien]

I dont show my scars to anyone, but I work with someone who doesn't hide hers. She generally ignores people's comments. Maybe they will just get used to then if they see them more often. I know ive found that with previos partners, they get used to it.

Can you talk to them about it?

[Sian-May]

My worst scars are my ankles. They're big, thick and a red/purple kind of colour. Some have dots from stitches too. I try to keep them covered up as much as I can but sometimes when I roll my trousers up to tie shoes or something, my dad and sister usually stare at them and I see the same kind of look in their eyes as you've described.

The best thing to do it use Bio Oil. I used it on my arm and it's great. You have to be patient, use it several times a day for quite a while but they will eventually fade. It's quicker than leaving them to fade on their own.

I'm comfortable with my skin and my scars but I tend to put foundation on them when around other people or if I'm wearing a dress/skirt out and about.

[purplefiona]

I have had tattoos over the top of some of my scars. The scars without tattoos on them, only my husband sees. I see the same look in his eye; it IS hard for others to accept. I would say the key is talking and perhaps try to do a stage at a time; introduce bare arms before bare legs etc. Would it help or even be appropriate for you to allow a close family member to help apply bio oil, just to forearms perhaps? Touch can reassure the person touching (in some cases) but of course can bring up boundary issues for you etc. Good luck. Communication is key.