The NSHN Forum UK
NSHN Forum Support & On Topic Forums. Some additional boards are viewable to members only => Survivor Room => Topic started by: Tucan on April 18, 2018, 06:54:09 PM
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I feel ok to show my scars. However I feel like I cannot go swimming as showing fresh self harm is taboo. Has anyone else had experience of stigma surrounding self harm. I also feel like I shouldn't really talk about it.
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There are also a few similar threads in the Reference Section: http://nshn.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=37.0 which might interest you.
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I have experienced stigma but I find that most people don't say anything. It might be best to avoid swimming with fresh SH though because there's a risk of infection. If it makes you feel more comfortable you could wear swimming leggings and/or a long sleeve swimming tops. Or you could wear men's shorts if the scars are only on your thighs.
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They are only on my thighs.
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In that case you could just wear men's shorts which you can find in sports shops or if it helps I have these swimming leggings : https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00XME7N6A/?coliid=I2AAV9OIG1HXPD&colid=1X11HJYF83SEH&psc=0&ref_=lv_ov_lig_dp_it << They were quite a tight fit so perhaps order a size bigger than normal if you buy them.
Also, there's nothing wrong with talking about self harm, that's the only way to lessen stigma. Only cover up or keep quiet if that's what naked you feel comfortable, there is no need to be ashamed. I only posted the above advice because I get the impression that you're self conscious but if you don't want to cover up then its OK.
( I meant to post this earlier but accidentally hit the post button early!)
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Lol bless you. My scars don't bother me. I have a few in my upper arm that I keep covered at work. It's more the red scars and recent sh that I am worried about people seeing. It feels like a taboo to show anyone your recent sh. I haven't spoken to anyone at work work about my recent sh, they know I did it in the past. It feels like old sh is ok to talk about but new sh isn't. Last time I spoke about it at work I worried a couple of the girls I worked with and am no longer allowed to carry a tool on me. I only used it for cutting baling twine and I wouldn't dream of shing whilst at work.
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I think the main things with recent SH is that people will either think it's for attention or they'll worry too much. A lot of non self harmers aren't aware that many SHers tend to only do it their own home and also have their own tools and wouldn't usually use work things (although I have done this when desperate). I had a similar reaction to you when some previous colleagues found out, they took the mick every time I used a tool which was frequently because I worked in a kitchen! It's a decision only you can make but personally I will wear short sleeves because it's historical and no big deal but I keep new ones on my legs covered up because I don't want to worry people, though I only wear short sleeved in front of my family because they are the only ones I trust. They do know about the current SH but I don't show them because they'll worry nor do they know the extent of it but I reassure them that I'll get it treated at the doctors if needed and that I'll ring them in an an emergency (or 999 first if it's really bad). Reassurance that you'll get any help needed can help if you want to be more open.
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I am just sick of all the secrets. Anyhow I am trying to stop again before it gets too entrenched.
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I faced a similar issue with the Stigma when I decided a few years ago to wear shorts. I have scars, pretty much everywhere. I kept my legs covered for years because of this. They are TOO visible. I got used to my arms being uncovered. Now I have scars on face, I thought "I'm tired of being too hot in the summer". I asked my family for their opinions and they said that people don't really look at legs when out and about. I thought differently. I gave it a shot wearing shorts and felt so uncomfortable for weeks. Eventually I got used to it. I have had many people ask about the scars, which blows the confidence of wearing shorts, but I persevered. I get what you say about recent SH too. I try to keep hidden until they are less noticeable.
When I went swimming once, (Which I don't do often because of the scars and I cannot swim!), I wore some long shorts rather than a costume. I was so distracted and hyper-vigilant about everything around me, that I didn't enjoy that time, one bit. I decided that I just won't go there, but everyone has different levels of tolerance to that. Another time, I wore the long shorts and I was told I couldn't go in the pool wearing them, It was against regulations. That confused me, because why should it be different when Men/Boys can wear long shorts and not Women/Girls?
The Stigma is still there even though a lot more people are open about it these days.
I would like a Full Body Skin Transplant, so I can have nice skin again and not feel judged or questioned.