Ranting often helps!
Your life seems to be more stable emotionally, but it doesn't sound like you want to tackle the contents of that diary for a long while yet - so don't. If it helps to put it somewhere that you'll forget about it again, why not do so. Keeping alcohol down to occasional use is good - many people don't tolerate excess but aren't in any condition to realise it at the time. If you've got a good relationship with your girlfriend, settled down, you might need something that you can do to release energy/tension etc, which you might have got from your wilder nights in the past - perhaps that's what you miss? Some people need excitement occasionally, and it's a good idea to include some if you do; sport, exercise even dancing - things that make your heart race for a while, things to look forward to doing. It's a good way of releasing tension, and the more effort you can put into it, the better you could feel.
Now you'll probably post that you're already a world class athlete ...
