Author Topic: Feedback to ED woman - advice needed please  (Read 11801 times)

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Offline Lily Kym

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Re: Feedback to ED woman - advice needed please
« Reply #10 on: May 02, 2012, 07:01:01 PM »
Sorry he was so insensitive hun :hug1: :hug2:
xx xx

Offline justine

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Re: Feedback to ED woman - advice needed please
« Reply #11 on: May 03, 2012, 03:15:12 PM »
 :1059: :1059: :1059:
If you feel like life is a dark, worthless place, please know that you have just fallen down a hole and that impossible as it seems, you can climb out again, and see that life is really a beautiful place to be

http://www.nshn.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=74073.msg1702918#new

Offline mirrhi

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Re: Feedback to ED woman - advice needed please
« Reply #12 on: May 03, 2012, 07:07:51 PM »
Sorry, I didn't explain that well cos I was on mobile and in a rush.  he was asking about weight etc in a caring way, he knows that *technically* I was underweight, was restricting, had done for a long time, he wants me to gain and told me I look much better and more like the mirrhi from years ago.  I know I put the triger *ED* on posts etc but still really struggle to accept that I migth actually have an ED despite it being over 2 years since GP gave diagnosis, referrals to ED teams, support groups etc etc etc.  I'm still sure though that it's just me being stupid, being pathetic, that I don't deserve the diagnosis, I'm just a fraud.
I *knew* I'd increased in weight, I knew I would when I moved in with him cos he won't let me skip meals etc.  I knew I would eat for him.  That felt more justifiable than eating for me.  I'm fully aware of how much my weight has increased by, to the gram, but have tried really really hard to ignore it, pretend it's not there, and I've mostly done ok witht hat.  I hate it when I tink about it, hate it so so so much, feel ashamed and guilty and angry and pathetic and so so soweak.  So angry angry angry at me  :banghead:
But when I spoke to him I wasn't angry.  I just cried.  Cried and crried and cried, no matter how much I wiped the shameful tears away they just ran and ran.  I didn't expect that.
Fella just sat and held my hand, said all positive things, hugged me.

I'm homw alone tonight.  He asked me to promise I would eat and despite all te horrible, wriggly, shameful feelings about that I agreed.  Now I'm here, alone and I can't face it, it's too wrong.  I know he'll ask, and I'll find it too hard to lie to him, but right now that seems the lesser evil  :blushing:
I guess it's funnier from where you're standing, Cause from over here I missed the joke
Clear the way for my crash landing, I've done it again, another number for your notes
I'll be your clown, behind the glass
Go 'head and laugh, cause it's funny
I would too if I saw me...

Offline Lily Kym

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Re: Feedback to ED woman - advice needed please
« Reply #13 on: May 03, 2012, 08:14:17 PM »
 :hug1: :hug1: :hug1: :hug1: :hug1:

Offline mirrhi

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Re: Feedback to ED woman - advice needed please
« Reply #14 on: May 03, 2012, 08:35:12 PM »
Duck, stupid stupid lies  :frying pan: do I never learn??????

Just spoke to fella, he asked if I'd had tea.  Said it was in the oven.  He asked what it was, so said it was a ready meal curry.  Now he wants me to send a text with photo of it.  I have no curry to photograph.  I've looked online and tried to photograph a photo but they all look so fake.  I can't see any way out, he's gonna know I lied to him.

I feel so ashamed, I hate what a nasty deceiving witch I can be.
I guess it's funnier from where you're standing, Cause from over here I missed the joke
Clear the way for my crash landing, I've done it again, another number for your notes
I'll be your clown, behind the glass
Go 'head and laugh, cause it's funny
I would too if I saw me...

Offline Lily Kym

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Re: Feedback to ED woman - advice needed please
« Reply #15 on: May 03, 2012, 08:44:28 PM »
oh hun xx xx
you need to decide if you can tell him truth, or you're actually gonig to have to go get one ...
xx xx :hug1: :hug2:

Offline mirrhi

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Re: Feedback to ED woman - advice needed please
« Reply #16 on: May 03, 2012, 08:48:50 PM »
Duck. Jusst text him, being honest.  Not sure what he'll say, I just told him I lied to hm.
I guess it's funnier from where you're standing, Cause from over here I missed the joke
Clear the way for my crash landing, I've done it again, another number for your notes
I'll be your clown, behind the glass
Go 'head and laugh, cause it's funny
I would too if I saw me...

Offline Lily Kym

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Re: Feedback to ED woman - advice needed please
« Reply #17 on: May 03, 2012, 08:50:29 PM »
you're telling the truth now
that's the important thing mirrhi :hug1: :hug2:

what time is back?

Offline mirrhi

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Re: Feedback to ED woman - advice needed please
« Reply #18 on: May 04, 2012, 05:06:56 PM »
He text me back last night, upset that I'd lied. Feel so ashamed. On my way home now to face him  :blushing:
I guess it's funnier from where you're standing, Cause from over here I missed the joke
Clear the way for my crash landing, I've done it again, another number for your notes
I'll be your clown, behind the glass
Go 'head and laugh, cause it's funny
I would too if I saw me...

Offline justine

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Re: Feedback to ED woman - advice needed please
« Reply #19 on: May 05, 2012, 11:13:41 PM »
better to be honest with him if your having trouble eating, at least that way he knows and he can support you  :1059:
If you feel like life is a dark, worthless place, please know that you have just fallen down a hole and that impossible as it seems, you can climb out again, and see that life is really a beautiful place to be

http://www.nshn.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=74073.msg1702918#new