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Author Topic: Anniversary *trig Sui*  (Read 7496 times)

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Offline LittleSquirrel

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Anniversary *trig Sui*
« on: May 06, 2012, 10:11:52 AM »
One year ago today, I attempted suicide, which resulted in me being in a coma. My relatives were told to fear the worse as should I have survived, it was expected that I would be brain damaged and possibly physically disabled. A year on, I am alive and well. So many things have changed in my life it is unreal, I am not the same person. I am not always happy with my life or where I'm at, but I have achieved a lot and I am relatively proud of where I am today.

However, the same day that I ended up in a coma, my uncle also went into ICU for something completely different, in a different country. We were in the same day and expected to be discharged roughly the same time (6 months later). He started to get better, but he passed away and didn't make it out of the hospital. I feel so guilty about this - I chose to take my life, he didn't, I survived, he didn't. I miss him a lot, we were close, and I worry that my family resent me for living, when he didn't. I wish I could visit his memorial or do something special to show I am thinking of him, but I don't know what as he lived in another country.

I just needed to voice this.



  :icon_arrow: Edit to add trigger warning to title ~ Bea
« Last Edit: May 06, 2012, 08:26:27 PM by Bea »
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Offline katj

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Re: Anniversary
« Reply #1 on: May 06, 2012, 11:16:04 AM »
I planted a pink rose bush for my friend who died ( pink was her favourite colour ). I wanted to have a memorial but not a traditional one - seeing it helps me remember the fun times we had and how special she was in my life.
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Offline greenday

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Re: Anniversary
« Reply #2 on: May 06, 2012, 06:34:36 PM »
i drew a pictur of a rose for my granddad
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Offline hayley

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Re: Anniversary *trig Sui*
« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2012, 12:43:29 AM »
I doubt very much that you are resented for living but I can understand why you may think that.  Would you benefit  from speaking to aprofessional how you feel because its nnot an issue that should be brushed under the carpet.

Are all your family in the same country as your uncle? I ask this cos if they're not you could perhaps create a memorial for him where they could remember him too.  A rosebush is good as is a tree.

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Offline greenday

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Re: Anniversary *trig Sui*
« Reply #4 on: May 07, 2012, 08:46:45 AM »
hi how r u toady
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Offline Emmz

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Re: Anniversary *trig Sui*
« Reply #5 on: May 08, 2012, 06:47:57 PM »
Really hope you're ok
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Offline Thirteen

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Re: Anniversary *trig Sui*
« Reply #6 on: May 08, 2012, 06:52:45 PM »
Bless you hunny. Im sure your family dont think that at all.
Im sure they are very thankful you made it.
Maybe do something in your own garden for him?
Am sending you lots of gentle hugs lovely  :hug2:
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Offline LittleSquirrel

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Re: Anniversary *trig Sui*
« Reply #7 on: May 09, 2012, 08:47:36 AM »
Thank-you guys. I wrote him a letter and b**nt it. He was cremated, so I thought he might get it that way. I'm ok, just feel a bit low. x
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"The problem with always being a conformist is that when you try to change the system from within, it's not you who changes the system; it's the system that will eventually change you."

Offline Thirteen

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Re: Anniversary *trig Sui*
« Reply #8 on: May 09, 2012, 05:27:09 PM »
 :hug2:
Do you have someone proff to talk to about how your feeling?
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Total time logged in: 13 days, 13 hours and 13 minutes on 02/05/12 5:25pm.
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