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Discussing self harm - anyone else find it difficult?

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I have told a couple of close friends that I sh when I can't deal with stuff , they were really supportive  and told me whenever I feel the need to  I am to call them night or day which made all teary eyed , one even told me she has done some reading up on BPD  so she can understand it a bit better which kinda made me realise what good friends they really were .

I have also spoken about my sh in STEPPS because I wear t shirts and my scars still show and because I feel the need to be totally honest about how my week has been  , well I did until last week when someone from the group asked me direct to my face why did I cut where everyone can see , it really upset me because of the manner in which she asked more than anything else , It was like she was accusationing me of sh'ing for attention which really hurt , I now have gone back to wearing long sleeves everywhere now as I don't like the thought of me triggering anyone or being called an attention seeker :(

went on a child protection course recently which completely screwed with my head :hide: however the stupid lady was talking about sh and getting it all wrong and i desperately wanted to tell her what a load of rubbish she was talking how was she qualified to teach the course!!!  :>:(:

however generally when the topic comes up anytime it makes my insides squirm and i start to feel very hot almost i tend to keep v quite and then get paranoid someone will notice as im never quiet  ::)

Is it strange that I like talking about the subject? I've always found subjects around MH fascinating, I like to think that if I didn't have my wobble period at college and stuck with it I'd have gone in helping people with MH problems (as opposed to developing my own  rotfl)

So no, I don't have problems discussing SH, until it comes to the context of myself which whilst I'm happy to talk about it around friends, I don't enjoy it quite as much as I do as if I ws talking about someone else/SH in general. Not learned to accept it fully yet. Getting there though :).


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